Which is more appropriate (for a girl) to wear to a funeral:
Light blue sweater with 3/4 sleeves and khaki pants
-or-
White longsleeve button-up shirt with light flowers and khaki pants
Which one of these outfits is more appropriate for a funeral?
Black or dark colors is most appropriate.
But out of the two outfits you named I%26#039;d go with the second.
Sorry for your loss.
Reply:It depends on your culture and/or country. In the U.S. most cultures dictate dark clothing for funerals, in which case neither of your outfits are a good choice.
Reply:black %26amp; white color...:)
Reply:A grey, black or navy blue suit would be most appropriate. But out of the two outfits I%26#039;d select number 2.
I%26#039;m sorry for your loss.
Reply:They both sound just fine to wear to a funeral- Theres is not a dress code really anymore as long as your not wearing clubbing clothes or beach wear.
Reply:The blue sweater.
Reply:If it is a traditional type funeral the darker the more acceptable.If it is a celebration of the persons life then wear the brightest .
Reply:Either is fine. And don%26#039;t let people say you have to wear dark colors because you don%26#039;t. Just stay conservative and respectful.
Reply:I like the first one, because you cant go wrong with simplicity and a pretty blue sweater.
Reply:Either sounds appropriate.
Without being able to see I can%26#039;t give a definite answer.
In general any outfit that is tasteful and subdued is fine. Anything flashy, immodest, and designed to draw attention to yourself is not appropriate. The focus should be on honoring the deceased and comforting the family, not showing off.
Whichever outfit will be comfortable for you and allow you to not feel self-conscious, rather aware of others%26#039; needs/feelings is fine.
My condolences and sympathies.
Reply:As long as they are conservative outfits, either one would be fine.
Reply:They both sound fine to me .
Reply:Neither. Traditionally you wear black at a funeral. Wear a simple white blouse with a black suit, if you have one, or black skirt and jacket. If you do not have suitable black clothes wear something neat and discreet, certainly not floral patterns or bright clothes unless the deceased requested it. A funeral is a time of mourning and although it is good to remember joyful times it is also the last stage of the grieving process. Please don%26#039;t treat it frivolously.
Reply:I think either outfit would be alright. Ask yourself which one would look better to you for a funeral. You would want it to be appropriate but not overly where attention my be on you rather than the funeral.
Reply:Both r str8
Reply:Either one is fine, dress according to the weather...and for comfort.
Reply:They both sound very nice. The important thing is that you attend for those left behind and they will just be glad you are there.
Reply:Both are fine, but a mid-length skirt would be better.
Reply:If you wear these clothes to a sad, somber event like a funeral, you won%26#039;t have anything to wear to a picnic at the lake!
wearing dark colors is a reflection of your emotions for the situation. Dark and conservative for a funeral, save the flowers for easter and parties.
Reply:Either is fine. Like someone said %26quot;conservative and respectful%26quot;
You do not have to wear black.
Reply:I THINK EITHER ONE WOULD WORK, BUT I WOULD GO WITH THE BLUE SWEATER MYSELF ;)
Reply:I think both are appropriate. I didn%26#039;t wear black to my dad%26#039;s funeral. He wouldn%26#039;t have liked it.
make up
Monday, April 13, 2009
One of my best friends fathers just passed away and I am unable to attend the funeral what can I do?
An out-of-town obligation within my own family is not allowing me to attend the funeral or the family visitation. I am planning to take a meal, send flowers, etc. - she understands - but I am having difficulty not being there - I am looking for suggestions on what I can do to provide my support from afar.
One of my best friends fathers just passed away and I am unable to attend the funeral what can I do?
give your friend a flying hug
it should show her that you care
Reply:I know what you are going through. I went through it a few years ago when my best friends dad passed away. Let her know that your thoughts are with her and she has your support. I could not go do to work, they would not let me off.
Reply:you%26#039;re doing all that you can do. calling her to ask how she%26#039;s doing might help, but really those days of the viewing and funeral are so busy and emotional, that i%26#039;d just be there for her while you%26#039;re in town and then check on her as soon as you get back.
take care:)
Reply:Send a sympathy card and flowers to the service
Reply:Send, flowers, a beautiful card, and include a letter of regret explaining why. This is all etiquette demands. Your friend will, I know, understand.
Reply:That%26#039;s a really hard decision...Is there some other way you can al least attend a little bit of it, and then you can go? That is my best advise. Sorry.
make up
One of my best friends fathers just passed away and I am unable to attend the funeral what can I do?
give your friend a flying hug
it should show her that you care
Reply:I know what you are going through. I went through it a few years ago when my best friends dad passed away. Let her know that your thoughts are with her and she has your support. I could not go do to work, they would not let me off.
Reply:you%26#039;re doing all that you can do. calling her to ask how she%26#039;s doing might help, but really those days of the viewing and funeral are so busy and emotional, that i%26#039;d just be there for her while you%26#039;re in town and then check on her as soon as you get back.
take care:)
Reply:Send a sympathy card and flowers to the service
Reply:Send, flowers, a beautiful card, and include a letter of regret explaining why. This is all etiquette demands. Your friend will, I know, understand.
Reply:That%26#039;s a really hard decision...Is there some other way you can al least attend a little bit of it, and then you can go? That is my best advise. Sorry.
make up
My turkish boyfriends father just passed away, what do i do for the funeral?
His funeral is tomorrow, and I want to know what is appropriate, as far as flowers, cards etc are concerned? is there any sort of traditional protocol I should follow?
My turkish boyfriends father just passed away, what do i do for the funeral?
First, my condolences to you and your boyfriend.Though the occasion is a sad one, the answer is simple.Tell your boyfriend how sorry you are that he lost his father, that you love him and know he is in a lot of pain and probably confused, and to tell you how you can help ease his sorrow.Remember even if is Turkish, he is still a human being with a heart that is in mourning.Being there for him any way that helps him is more important than the protocols i.e flowers, cards, etc.
Reply:Sending cards or flowers isn%26#039;t really common here. As for what you can do...try to be there. Ask the family if they need anything. You can even cook for them if you know how to cook Turkish food. Or you can even make and serve tea or coffee to the visitors.
If you don%26#039;t feel comfortable doing these, just be there and try to share their sorrow. That will do.
Reply:personally if it was my case I%26#039;d want my lover to be there for me, hold me confort me, and if you weren%26#039;t planning on it go to the funeral and to the wake with him,,
as for the flowers and card,,it would be really secondary compared to you being there for him
skin disease
My turkish boyfriends father just passed away, what do i do for the funeral?
First, my condolences to you and your boyfriend.Though the occasion is a sad one, the answer is simple.Tell your boyfriend how sorry you are that he lost his father, that you love him and know he is in a lot of pain and probably confused, and to tell you how you can help ease his sorrow.Remember even if is Turkish, he is still a human being with a heart that is in mourning.Being there for him any way that helps him is more important than the protocols i.e flowers, cards, etc.
Reply:Sending cards or flowers isn%26#039;t really common here. As for what you can do...try to be there. Ask the family if they need anything. You can even cook for them if you know how to cook Turkish food. Or you can even make and serve tea or coffee to the visitors.
If you don%26#039;t feel comfortable doing these, just be there and try to share their sorrow. That will do.
Reply:personally if it was my case I%26#039;d want my lover to be there for me, hold me confort me, and if you weren%26#039;t planning on it go to the funeral and to the wake with him,,
as for the flowers and card,,it would be really secondary compared to you being there for him
skin disease
My wife's uncle died. She doesn't think she can attend the funeral but is afraid of hurting her dad?
My wife had an uncle who has been very generous in sending us money for Christmas and our wedding, etc.. He was living in assisted living and didn%26#039;t want to see anybody so my wife hasn%26#039;t seen him in like 15 or 20 years. He lived about 20 hours from us. He passed away this weekend. My wife just realized that she only has 2 vacation days between now and July and we have 2 toddlers that get sick often. Her work policy is that sick, funeral or vacation all come from the same bucket. My wife%26#039;s family is small and because he kept to himself, she only expects maybe 4 or 5 people to show up at the funeral. She thinks that because of her situation with time away from work, that she needs to not go to the funeral, but she%26#039;s afraid of hurting her father by not being there for him.
Is it offensive for her not to go? How can she make amends with her father given this situation? Is there anything..beyond sending flowers..that we can do to show our support? Suggestions please!
My wife%26#039;s uncle died. She doesn%26#039;t think she can attend the funeral but is afraid of hurting her dad?
what about making a donation in your wife%26#039;s uncle%26#039;s name to a charity that the family supports? Use the money that traveling to the funeral would cost...
I%26#039;m sure that everyone will understand that with new jobs, its just impossible for you to get away right now
Reply:She should still go. Family is what matters...regardless of the work policy, he was a beloved family member. Besides, she may think of getting a different job anyways as any job that would not allow me leniency for a family situation is certainly not the job for me.
Reply:This is a difficult and hard time. With just relocating, it would be a bad time to ask for timeoff. I%26#039;m not sure about her work%26#039;s policy for funerals but if she gets only 2 days off it would be hard for her to take it now if one of your kids gets sick.
I%26#039;d like to say her Dad should understand the place she%26#039;s in but I%26#039;m sure he%26#039;s upset at his brother%26#039;s passing and won%26#039;t be thinking of that.
Of course send flowers expressing your regrets, call her father and explain the situation as best you can and have her(if she can) tell her Dad that while she would love to be with him at this time it just isn%26#039;t possible. Some people may be upset if she doesn%26#039;t go but those people don%26#039;t know what your wife is dealing with.
Reply:How much leave time do you get at work? If one of the kids gets sick could you take time off to stay with them? If your wife was close to her uncle and wants to go to the funeral she should try to go. This may be a good opportunity to develop a relationship with her boss. Explain the situation and ask the boss if there%26#039;s any way around it. If she can%26#039;t get the time off she can send a card with a meaningful personal note to her Dad. She can also call her Dad and talk to him. He may be OK with her not going since she hasn%26#039;t seen him in so long.
Reply:A death in the family is ALWAYS a good enough reason to get away from work or anything else to attend...Funerals are the few times when families get together, and, %26quot;why%26#039;s that?%26quot;, you wonder?...
Reply:Yes, this will definitely be one of those situations that she will regret. It is disrespectful. He has been so generous to you guys. You should pick her up and get her to go. Even if you cannot go, get her to go.
computer
Is it offensive for her not to go? How can she make amends with her father given this situation? Is there anything..beyond sending flowers..that we can do to show our support? Suggestions please!
My wife%26#039;s uncle died. She doesn%26#039;t think she can attend the funeral but is afraid of hurting her dad?
what about making a donation in your wife%26#039;s uncle%26#039;s name to a charity that the family supports? Use the money that traveling to the funeral would cost...
I%26#039;m sure that everyone will understand that with new jobs, its just impossible for you to get away right now
Reply:She should still go. Family is what matters...regardless of the work policy, he was a beloved family member. Besides, she may think of getting a different job anyways as any job that would not allow me leniency for a family situation is certainly not the job for me.
Reply:This is a difficult and hard time. With just relocating, it would be a bad time to ask for timeoff. I%26#039;m not sure about her work%26#039;s policy for funerals but if she gets only 2 days off it would be hard for her to take it now if one of your kids gets sick.
I%26#039;d like to say her Dad should understand the place she%26#039;s in but I%26#039;m sure he%26#039;s upset at his brother%26#039;s passing and won%26#039;t be thinking of that.
Of course send flowers expressing your regrets, call her father and explain the situation as best you can and have her(if she can) tell her Dad that while she would love to be with him at this time it just isn%26#039;t possible. Some people may be upset if she doesn%26#039;t go but those people don%26#039;t know what your wife is dealing with.
Reply:How much leave time do you get at work? If one of the kids gets sick could you take time off to stay with them? If your wife was close to her uncle and wants to go to the funeral she should try to go. This may be a good opportunity to develop a relationship with her boss. Explain the situation and ask the boss if there%26#039;s any way around it. If she can%26#039;t get the time off she can send a card with a meaningful personal note to her Dad. She can also call her Dad and talk to him. He may be OK with her not going since she hasn%26#039;t seen him in so long.
Reply:A death in the family is ALWAYS a good enough reason to get away from work or anything else to attend...Funerals are the few times when families get together, and, %26quot;why%26#039;s that?%26quot;, you wonder?...
Reply:Yes, this will definitely be one of those situations that she will regret. It is disrespectful. He has been so generous to you guys. You should pick her up and get her to go. Even if you cannot go, get her to go.
computer
Does anybody know what song they want played at their funeral?
I just wanted to know if I%26#039;m the only that thinks about that kind of stuff.. Like I know exactly how I want my funeral to be.. its not like I%26#039;m being morbid or anything.. I guess I%26#039;m just planning ahead??
For me- I want there to be lots of flowers, not too sad of an occasion.. I would like Moonlight Sonata to be played.. idk it%26#039;s a solemn song but. I like it.. but idk.. do you have a funeral if you want to be cremated?? well if you don%26#039;t im going to have one anyways.. :]
anyone else think about this stuff??
Does anybody know what song they want played at their funeral?
lol thats normal, i never think about my wedding oddly enough, just my funerall. I want it to be like an Irish wake where everyone is celebrating my life instead of my death. I want either I Will Remember You by Sarah McLauchlan (sp) to be played OR Walk It Out by Unk to be played...preferably Walk It Out lolol. Then all my VIP guests would get up and give a nice memory about me.
Reply:I think about stuff like this. I need to get a will drawn up.....not that I have a ton of stuff or anything! lol I want %26quot;Holes in the Floor of Heaven%26quot; by.....ummm...I can%26#039;t remember his name right now. And people do have funerals when they are cremated, I think they are called memorial services. And honey, it%26#039;s your funeral, you get what you want!
Reply:The music from the tails from the crypt.
Reply:Something by They Might Be Giants coz I can%26#039;t get people to listen to them when I%26#039;m alive so they%26#039;ll damn well listen when I%26#039;m dead!
Reply:Fade to Black by Metallica
Reply:I plan to be cremated and then a short memorial service.
I have asked a friend to sing %26quot;That Silver Haired Daddy of Mine%26quot; by Gene Autry for my daughters...... that is, if my friend outlives me.. **grin**
Reply:Na,na,na,na hey, hey ,hey....Goodbye...you know the song
Reply:snopy dogs,s song
Reply:I am going to cremated ( I am not going into a hole for eternity), but at the ceremony I want them to play......an anti-war song from the %26#039;60s like %26quot;I aint marchin anymore%26quot; or %26quot;universal soilder%26quot;.
Or maybe a really slow song then have a real fast hardcore rap song come up......then it stop abruptly then they hear my voice saying something, like I love you all or something.....lol I pwn.
Reply:Don%26#039;t Worry, Be Happy.
Reply:No, you%26#039;re not the only one. Sometimes I wonder who would come too. I want mine to be more of a party than anything else. I want there to be orange day lilies and pink hibiscuses everywhere. I want them to play %26quot;Twist and Shout%26quot; by the Beatles. I love that song! Who cares if it doesn%26#039;t go with a funeral?
Reply:nope, no idea yet
Reply:well there will def be an open bar at my funeral
Reply:i think it wud be interesting to make a recording of my voice.
i want them to play because you love me. then halfway through the song my voice will boom out %26quot;I%26#039;M RICK JAMES B*TCH!!!%26quot;
Reply:festering in the crypt by cannibal corpse
Reply:All I know is I don%26#039;t want to burn!
Reply:Hey, it%26#039;s not morbid to dwell an eventuality
The song I%26#039;d like to be played at my wake is %26#039;Amazing Grace%26#039; because I have been there, done that, and it wasn%26#039;t all strawberries and cream. I.E.: Vietnam. Of course, I%26#039;d like an Irish wake, the real Irish wake where they take me out the coffin and put me in a corner with a triple shot of Jameson on the rocks. Than, oft to the crematory where an urn awaits my remains. By the way, my soul will be in a parallel universe..
Reply:Knock Knock Knockin on Heavens Door- by Mr Bob Dylan- great man- great song-, someone sent me a link for Bob Singing this- but l cant find it?- maybe someone can send it for us all to try-WOW great- thanks -love Jo xx
Reply:Staying Alive by the Bee Gees
Reply:i want to be cremated
White Teeth
For me- I want there to be lots of flowers, not too sad of an occasion.. I would like Moonlight Sonata to be played.. idk it%26#039;s a solemn song but. I like it.. but idk.. do you have a funeral if you want to be cremated?? well if you don%26#039;t im going to have one anyways.. :]
anyone else think about this stuff??
Does anybody know what song they want played at their funeral?
lol thats normal, i never think about my wedding oddly enough, just my funerall. I want it to be like an Irish wake where everyone is celebrating my life instead of my death. I want either I Will Remember You by Sarah McLauchlan (sp) to be played OR Walk It Out by Unk to be played...preferably Walk It Out lolol. Then all my VIP guests would get up and give a nice memory about me.
Reply:I think about stuff like this. I need to get a will drawn up.....not that I have a ton of stuff or anything! lol I want %26quot;Holes in the Floor of Heaven%26quot; by.....ummm...I can%26#039;t remember his name right now. And people do have funerals when they are cremated, I think they are called memorial services. And honey, it%26#039;s your funeral, you get what you want!
Reply:The music from the tails from the crypt.
Reply:Something by They Might Be Giants coz I can%26#039;t get people to listen to them when I%26#039;m alive so they%26#039;ll damn well listen when I%26#039;m dead!
Reply:Fade to Black by Metallica
Reply:I plan to be cremated and then a short memorial service.
I have asked a friend to sing %26quot;That Silver Haired Daddy of Mine%26quot; by Gene Autry for my daughters...... that is, if my friend outlives me.. **grin**
Reply:Na,na,na,na hey, hey ,hey....Goodbye...you know the song
Reply:snopy dogs,s song
Reply:I am going to cremated ( I am not going into a hole for eternity), but at the ceremony I want them to play......an anti-war song from the %26#039;60s like %26quot;I aint marchin anymore%26quot; or %26quot;universal soilder%26quot;.
Or maybe a really slow song then have a real fast hardcore rap song come up......then it stop abruptly then they hear my voice saying something, like I love you all or something.....lol I pwn.
Reply:Don%26#039;t Worry, Be Happy.
Reply:No, you%26#039;re not the only one. Sometimes I wonder who would come too. I want mine to be more of a party than anything else. I want there to be orange day lilies and pink hibiscuses everywhere. I want them to play %26quot;Twist and Shout%26quot; by the Beatles. I love that song! Who cares if it doesn%26#039;t go with a funeral?
Reply:nope, no idea yet
Reply:well there will def be an open bar at my funeral
Reply:i think it wud be interesting to make a recording of my voice.
i want them to play because you love me. then halfway through the song my voice will boom out %26quot;I%26#039;M RICK JAMES B*TCH!!!%26quot;
Reply:festering in the crypt by cannibal corpse
Reply:All I know is I don%26#039;t want to burn!
Reply:Hey, it%26#039;s not morbid to dwell an eventuality
The song I%26#039;d like to be played at my wake is %26#039;Amazing Grace%26#039; because I have been there, done that, and it wasn%26#039;t all strawberries and cream. I.E.: Vietnam. Of course, I%26#039;d like an Irish wake, the real Irish wake where they take me out the coffin and put me in a corner with a triple shot of Jameson on the rocks. Than, oft to the crematory where an urn awaits my remains. By the way, my soul will be in a parallel universe..
Reply:Knock Knock Knockin on Heavens Door- by Mr Bob Dylan- great man- great song-, someone sent me a link for Bob Singing this- but l cant find it?- maybe someone can send it for us all to try-WOW great- thanks -love Jo xx
Reply:Staying Alive by the Bee Gees
Reply:i want to be cremated
White Teeth
How do you attach dried flowers into a shadowbox?
I have dried whole roses from my mothers funeral and would like to make a memorial in a glass shadow box, but I am not sure how to attach the very delicate flowers to the cloth covered cardboard backing?
How do you attach dried flowers into a shadowbox?
Why don`t you try some florists foam..it`s really cheap..and you can insert the flowers where u want...spray flowers with a light covering of hair spray to preserve longer.
Reply:a hot glue gun will work great
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How do you attach dried flowers into a shadowbox?
Why don`t you try some florists foam..it`s really cheap..and you can insert the flowers where u want...spray flowers with a light covering of hair spray to preserve longer.
Reply:a hot glue gun will work great
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What do different color of flowers mean?
Differant color of flowers signify differant things. Like Red may mean I love you, yellow signifies something, white, etc. Please i need to know what color is for I%26#039;ll never forget you. Its for a funeral, which is in a few hours.
What do different color of flowers mean?
Red: passionate, the color of hearts and flames, attracts attention and speed up metabolism. Pink is associated with romance. Deep red looks aristocratic.
Yellow: Lively, happy, the color of sunshine and daffodils. Bright yellow can be oppressive, pale yellow breezy and springlike.
Green: Tranquil, pastoral, the color of trees, grass. Associated with spring, fertility, poison, jealousy. Dark green is eloquent bringing to mind the deep quiet of a pine forest.
Blue: The color of sky and sea it has a calming effect but is also powerful, the strongest of the colors after red. Light blues looks young and sporty, navy dignified and wealthy.
Purple: Sophisticated, associated with royalty.
Brown: Rich, fertile like soil. Also sad, wistful-like leaves in autumn. Also suggests a rustic, natural or opulent look as in leather.
White: Purity, virginity, innocence, peace. Can also be associated with sterility and winter.
Black: The color of night and death, often linked with evil, wealth and elegance
Reply:your local florist will know
Soles
What do different color of flowers mean?
Red: passionate, the color of hearts and flames, attracts attention and speed up metabolism. Pink is associated with romance. Deep red looks aristocratic.
Yellow: Lively, happy, the color of sunshine and daffodils. Bright yellow can be oppressive, pale yellow breezy and springlike.
Green: Tranquil, pastoral, the color of trees, grass. Associated with spring, fertility, poison, jealousy. Dark green is eloquent bringing to mind the deep quiet of a pine forest.
Blue: The color of sky and sea it has a calming effect but is also powerful, the strongest of the colors after red. Light blues looks young and sporty, navy dignified and wealthy.
Purple: Sophisticated, associated with royalty.
Brown: Rich, fertile like soil. Also sad, wistful-like leaves in autumn. Also suggests a rustic, natural or opulent look as in leather.
White: Purity, virginity, innocence, peace. Can also be associated with sterility and winter.
Black: The color of night and death, often linked with evil, wealth and elegance
Reply:your local florist will know
Soles
What kind of lei is appropriate for a funeral?
My family is originally from Hawaii, but is now settled on the mainland. My aunt just passed away and I wanted to create a lei instead of a regular flower arrangement. I%26#039;ve seen leis at other funerals, but I don%26#039;t know which flowers/types are appropriate. I%26#039;d hate to give something that represents %26#039;long life and happiness%26#039; to someone who is now deceased. Anyone know what would work and what wouldn%26#039;t? Thanks!
What kind of lei is appropriate for a funeral?
What a beutiiful gesture on your part. Sorry about your Aunt and the length of this but it was excelllent reading.
Hala is appreciated at a funeral, or as a gift to someone from Puna. La`i, ti leaf, is always appropriate, as is maile.
Temporary traditional leis were fashioned of natural material
Leis were sewn or weaved with coconut husk, olona, banana or hau fibers.
Temporary leis now commonly called fresh leis, are a mixture of endemic as well as introduced combinations of flowers, leaves, mosses, blossoming grasses, and vines. Materials common for stringing include: suji, ribbon, lei thread even carpet thread.
kipu`u - knotting.Short vine lengths or leaves with a long stem were knotted together, as seen with the maile lei or kukui leaf
hili - plaiting or braiding. Used only when braiding one material, seen in the modern ti leaf leis and maile lei
haku - braiding %26quot;somewhat%26quot;, with a central binding cord and mixture of flower, leaf and/or fern. The term haku is loosely used for the head lei.
wili - winding similar to the haku with no knots till the very end.
humu papa - sewing to a foundation. The traditional head lei, or as in feather leis.
kui - stringing,
kui pololei - stringing through the center of the flower or shell. Remember puka shells?
kui poepoe - stringing through stem or ovary of flower, arranging as in spokes of a wheel. The beautifl double plumeria lei is often strung in this method.
kui lau - stringing flat through stem or ovary of flower, arranging alternating side to side. The intricate cigar flower lei is strung with this method.
The colors and designated emblem to each Island was adopted in 1923 by the Territorial Legislature of Hawai`i. Except for the lokelani rose representing Maui, all are native fauna that are naturally associated with that island. The pupu .
Kaho`olawe - silver gray - hinahina
Maui - pink - damask rose officially lokelani is listed
Moloka`i - silver green - the kukui
Kaua`i - violet - mokihana
Lana`i - orange - kaunoloa
Hawai`i - red - lehua
Ni`ihau - white - pupu shells
O`ahu - yelloe - ilima
Molokini - medium blue - limu kala
Open every pod and fruit to see the seed inside (watermelon is just one).
If it is not poisonous, it can be strung!
Make do with what you have. Standard needle and thread, hey even floss is great!
The old favorites of ,pasta%26#039;s and noodles; crepe paper and straws. Canna, a favorite for leis is called ali`i poe in Hawaii. A very rare lei, yet a very commonly found seed. The common manila palms; after the red %26quot;date%26quot; falls to the ground and dries, under a bit of husk is a beautifl nut. The colored nut. The common plant used for hedges, Tiare, makes a wonderful lei. Papaya flowers and pansies, baby%26#039;s breath and boston fern make an awesome head lei.
Take them as hostess gifts, and to give to the departed at funerals. .
Reply:Thank you and sorry for the long answer Report It
www.poetry.com
What kind of lei is appropriate for a funeral?
What a beutiiful gesture on your part. Sorry about your Aunt and the length of this but it was excelllent reading.
Hala is appreciated at a funeral, or as a gift to someone from Puna. La`i, ti leaf, is always appropriate, as is maile.
Temporary traditional leis were fashioned of natural material
Leis were sewn or weaved with coconut husk, olona, banana or hau fibers.
Temporary leis now commonly called fresh leis, are a mixture of endemic as well as introduced combinations of flowers, leaves, mosses, blossoming grasses, and vines. Materials common for stringing include: suji, ribbon, lei thread even carpet thread.
kipu`u - knotting.Short vine lengths or leaves with a long stem were knotted together, as seen with the maile lei or kukui leaf
hili - plaiting or braiding. Used only when braiding one material, seen in the modern ti leaf leis and maile lei
haku - braiding %26quot;somewhat%26quot;, with a central binding cord and mixture of flower, leaf and/or fern. The term haku is loosely used for the head lei.
wili - winding similar to the haku with no knots till the very end.
humu papa - sewing to a foundation. The traditional head lei, or as in feather leis.
kui - stringing,
kui pololei - stringing through the center of the flower or shell. Remember puka shells?
kui poepoe - stringing through stem or ovary of flower, arranging as in spokes of a wheel. The beautifl double plumeria lei is often strung in this method.
kui lau - stringing flat through stem or ovary of flower, arranging alternating side to side. The intricate cigar flower lei is strung with this method.
The colors and designated emblem to each Island was adopted in 1923 by the Territorial Legislature of Hawai`i. Except for the lokelani rose representing Maui, all are native fauna that are naturally associated with that island. The pupu .
Kaho`olawe - silver gray - hinahina
Maui - pink - damask rose officially lokelani is listed
Moloka`i - silver green - the kukui
Kaua`i - violet - mokihana
Lana`i - orange - kaunoloa
Hawai`i - red - lehua
Ni`ihau - white - pupu shells
O`ahu - yelloe - ilima
Molokini - medium blue - limu kala
Open every pod and fruit to see the seed inside (watermelon is just one).
If it is not poisonous, it can be strung!
Make do with what you have. Standard needle and thread, hey even floss is great!
The old favorites of ,pasta%26#039;s and noodles; crepe paper and straws. Canna, a favorite for leis is called ali`i poe in Hawaii. A very rare lei, yet a very commonly found seed. The common manila palms; after the red %26quot;date%26quot; falls to the ground and dries, under a bit of husk is a beautifl nut. The colored nut. The common plant used for hedges, Tiare, makes a wonderful lei. Papaya flowers and pansies, baby%26#039;s breath and boston fern make an awesome head lei.
Take them as hostess gifts, and to give to the departed at funerals. .
Reply:Thank you and sorry for the long answer Report It
www.poetry.com
What kind of flowers should I buy for my teacher?
Last week sometime, my history teacher%26#039;s mother died because of diabetic reasons, and she was only 47. She hasn%26#039;t been at school for the past week and had to fly out to CA (we live in WI) for her mother%26#039;s funeral. She lost her best friend last week as well. Today she was finally back in class and was in tears when she talked to us about what happened. Her eyes look so empty. She%26#039;s going through an extremely hard time...and I know there%26#039;s not much I can do to make it better....but I thought about buying her some flowers. What kind do you think I should buy? Or do you have any other ideas on what I should get her? I know no amount of money could make up for her loss...but I just feel so bad for her.
What kind of flowers should I buy for my teacher?
You are very sweet for being so caring. I have an idea that my kids teacher%26#039;s just loved. Pass around a note to all the kids in your class, say Monday. Tell them all to bring in one flower on Wednesday, and have a pretty vase ready for all the single flowers from all the kids. That way, everyone can contribute and not spend alot of money. but, the teachers loved the variety, and the thought, since alot of the flowers came from the kids own yard! good luck, hope she feels better. Depending on the calss size, you might need two vases!
Reply:a book or flowers
Reply:The first idea is the best. Except I would maybe bring a couple extra flowers just in case some students forget or can%26#039;t afford it!
Reply:flowers : Tulips are nice or yellow roses.
Book : Inspirational stories or a Journal for her to write in.
Reply:You are so caring and nice to you teacher. It should be like that. You can collect signatures of your class mates on a note showing your sympathies to your teacher and send it to her alongwith some white and purple flowers. You can also visit her house with your parents and convey your condolences. There is nothing more you can do at this juncture. All the best.
Reply:Shame on your teacher for bringing her personal issues into the classroom. Clearly her attempt to make you feel sorry for her has worked.
DO NOT give her any flowers. Basically, the teacher-student relationship is adversarial and giving her gifts is a sign of weakness which she would exploit in the future.
Be strong and don%26#039;t let her use you.
Reply:Daisies!
Reply:It is so nice to see you care for your teacher...Poor woman!
She must be feeling so bad right now...!
I think the first post gives the best idea, sweetie. Everyone can contribute with a flower and let your teacher know they care....Very thoughtful. A nice card with a beautiful message and everyone%26#039;s names is a kind gesture, too.
Good luck!
Reply:different color roses mean different things, and i think the only one that doesn%26#039;t send of something like %26quot;i love you%26quot; is yellow, which is supposed to mean you care...
http://www.rkdn.org/roses/colors.asp
Reply:White or purple flowers would be very nice. Along with
a note with a nice gesture of sympathy.
Reply:http://www.ediblearrangements.com/
these are really cool and pretty i wish someone would send me these.
Reply:It might be a good idea to get a card and have as many students as possible sign it. Flowers would also be nice, and if you ask the other students to chip in as well, it wouldn%26#039;t cost much, and then it%26#039;ll be from the whole class, so she knows that all of you care about her.
Reply:at the end of class after everybody gone give her a hug and say im sorry to hear about your loss.thats it.no flowers
hairstyles hair style
What kind of flowers should I buy for my teacher?
You are very sweet for being so caring. I have an idea that my kids teacher%26#039;s just loved. Pass around a note to all the kids in your class, say Monday. Tell them all to bring in one flower on Wednesday, and have a pretty vase ready for all the single flowers from all the kids. That way, everyone can contribute and not spend alot of money. but, the teachers loved the variety, and the thought, since alot of the flowers came from the kids own yard! good luck, hope she feels better. Depending on the calss size, you might need two vases!
Reply:a book or flowers
Reply:The first idea is the best. Except I would maybe bring a couple extra flowers just in case some students forget or can%26#039;t afford it!
Reply:flowers : Tulips are nice or yellow roses.
Book : Inspirational stories or a Journal for her to write in.
Reply:You are so caring and nice to you teacher. It should be like that. You can collect signatures of your class mates on a note showing your sympathies to your teacher and send it to her alongwith some white and purple flowers. You can also visit her house with your parents and convey your condolences. There is nothing more you can do at this juncture. All the best.
Reply:Shame on your teacher for bringing her personal issues into the classroom. Clearly her attempt to make you feel sorry for her has worked.
DO NOT give her any flowers. Basically, the teacher-student relationship is adversarial and giving her gifts is a sign of weakness which she would exploit in the future.
Be strong and don%26#039;t let her use you.
Reply:Daisies!
Reply:It is so nice to see you care for your teacher...Poor woman!
She must be feeling so bad right now...!
I think the first post gives the best idea, sweetie. Everyone can contribute with a flower and let your teacher know they care....Very thoughtful. A nice card with a beautiful message and everyone%26#039;s names is a kind gesture, too.
Good luck!
Reply:different color roses mean different things, and i think the only one that doesn%26#039;t send of something like %26quot;i love you%26quot; is yellow, which is supposed to mean you care...
http://www.rkdn.org/roses/colors.asp
Reply:White or purple flowers would be very nice. Along with
a note with a nice gesture of sympathy.
Reply:http://www.ediblearrangements.com/
these are really cool and pretty i wish someone would send me these.
Reply:It might be a good idea to get a card and have as many students as possible sign it. Flowers would also be nice, and if you ask the other students to chip in as well, it wouldn%26#039;t cost much, and then it%26#039;ll be from the whole class, so she knows that all of you care about her.
Reply:at the end of class after everybody gone give her a hug and say im sorry to hear about your loss.thats it.no flowers
hairstyles hair style
I have 3 flowers, 2 lt. pink roses and a bright pink carnation. What is the best way to press/preserve them?
They are from my grandmother%26#039;s funeral and I would like to be able to remember the day. Does anyone have any good ideas for preserving or pressing the flowers.... I thought about somehow suspending them in acryclic resin...but really have no ideas . Suggestions and instructions PLEASE HELP!!!!!
I have 3 flowers, 2 lt. pink roses and a bright pink carnation. What is the best way to press/preserve them?
First, you need to tie the stems up (if they have one) and then hang them upside down until they dry out. Then the best way to press them is by putting them between the page of a heavy book. Sorry to hear about your grandmother...my condolences.
Reply:I have been digging and digging trying to find out how to make a solid globe -- they are just beautiful with real flowers in them - if I ever find the directions, I will pass them on.
In the meantime -- you mentioned pressing them. If you can buy a flower press, that would be great - they are about $5. If not, take two pieces of corrugated cardboard (make sure they are clean) and cut them about 8%26quot; square. Get two moisture absorbent sheets of paper (at craft stores). Place one piece of cardboard on table - then one of the absorb. pages - the flowers (make sure they are NOT overlapping) and cut the stems to fit inside the square - then the second absorb. sheet and finally the last piece of cardboard. Place 3-4 HEAVY books on top of the %26#039;pkg%26#039; and leave them alone for a week or so. Then CAREFULLY remove the flowers - they will be fragile, so really take care.
I would then put them in a shadow box with a photo of your grandma, some things of hers (jewelry, hankie, etc) and arrange them to please the eye. Good luck sweetie and keep your grandma%26#039;s memory alive.
genealogy mormon
I have 3 flowers, 2 lt. pink roses and a bright pink carnation. What is the best way to press/preserve them?
First, you need to tie the stems up (if they have one) and then hang them upside down until they dry out. Then the best way to press them is by putting them between the page of a heavy book. Sorry to hear about your grandmother...my condolences.
Reply:I have been digging and digging trying to find out how to make a solid globe -- they are just beautiful with real flowers in them - if I ever find the directions, I will pass them on.
In the meantime -- you mentioned pressing them. If you can buy a flower press, that would be great - they are about $5. If not, take two pieces of corrugated cardboard (make sure they are clean) and cut them about 8%26quot; square. Get two moisture absorbent sheets of paper (at craft stores). Place one piece of cardboard on table - then one of the absorb. pages - the flowers (make sure they are NOT overlapping) and cut the stems to fit inside the square - then the second absorb. sheet and finally the last piece of cardboard. Place 3-4 HEAVY books on top of the %26#039;pkg%26#039; and leave them alone for a week or so. Then CAREFULLY remove the flowers - they will be fragile, so really take care.
I would then put them in a shadow box with a photo of your grandma, some things of hers (jewelry, hankie, etc) and arrange them to please the eye. Good luck sweetie and keep your grandma%26#039;s memory alive.
genealogy mormon
An obituary said in lieu of flowers to give to an organization. Is it wrong to send flowers also?
My childhood friend%26#039;s daughter died at 19. We are not super close, but talk twice a year. I am going to the funeral and don%26#039;t know whether I should just do as the obituary says, or would they really appreciate flowers also. Does any one have any experience to help guide me? Thank you!
An obituary said in lieu of flowers to give to an organization. Is it wrong to send flowers also?
It is not wrong to send flowers. However, since you are going to the funeral, sending flowers is not necessary. Very often people send flowers as an expression of sympathy when they are not able to attend the visitation or funeral. After the funeral, it can be quite stressful dealing with all the flowers and plants that are sent. They are very welcome, but then there is that period afterwards when you are just overwhelmed with loose ends needing dealt with. Following the funeral service, flowers typically are dispersed among family and close friends and some are sent to hospitals or nursing homes as well. There are many reasons why a family may not want flowers. Perhaps many of the family is coming from a long distance and will not want to try to take flowers home with them, especially if they are flying. Sometimes it is personal and the family just doesn%26#039;t want to have anything back at their home to remind them of the funeral of their loved one. It is best to honor the request of the family at a time like this. If they would have appreciated the flowers, then the obituary would not have made that statement.
Reply:Send money to the organization, and ask the organization to send a card to them acknowledging them of your donation. If you feel you need to, send a rose or two to the mother, not a big fancy basket or extravagant display of foliage. Or if you know what the daughter%26#039;s favorite flower was, send that. Sunflowers and daisies would brighten the occasion as well.
Reply:if they said donations, then that is what they want, right?
i have no idea if they would appreciate flowers also.
Reply:You do what you can. That was a suggestion and a way to do something positive with the money because the flowers are expensive to just lay on the grave site or take to the family house. I would give to their choice of charities and maybe send a small arrangement with a note of the charity of sponsored.
Reply:It%26#039;s not wrong, it%26#039;s very thoughtful actually, they would just rather have the donation to the organization, than to have people spend money on flowers.
Reply:You can do both, if you wish. It is just that, sometimes, people view the short life of flowers and the expense associated them to be [hate to use this word!] wasteful; especially, when the money could be better spent on research for the disease that caused the death or hospice services, the financially struggling family, etc.
Reply:i would respect their wishes and donate to the charity if you want to do something
flower
An obituary said in lieu of flowers to give to an organization. Is it wrong to send flowers also?
It is not wrong to send flowers. However, since you are going to the funeral, sending flowers is not necessary. Very often people send flowers as an expression of sympathy when they are not able to attend the visitation or funeral. After the funeral, it can be quite stressful dealing with all the flowers and plants that are sent. They are very welcome, but then there is that period afterwards when you are just overwhelmed with loose ends needing dealt with. Following the funeral service, flowers typically are dispersed among family and close friends and some are sent to hospitals or nursing homes as well. There are many reasons why a family may not want flowers. Perhaps many of the family is coming from a long distance and will not want to try to take flowers home with them, especially if they are flying. Sometimes it is personal and the family just doesn%26#039;t want to have anything back at their home to remind them of the funeral of their loved one. It is best to honor the request of the family at a time like this. If they would have appreciated the flowers, then the obituary would not have made that statement.
Reply:Send money to the organization, and ask the organization to send a card to them acknowledging them of your donation. If you feel you need to, send a rose or two to the mother, not a big fancy basket or extravagant display of foliage. Or if you know what the daughter%26#039;s favorite flower was, send that. Sunflowers and daisies would brighten the occasion as well.
Reply:if they said donations, then that is what they want, right?
i have no idea if they would appreciate flowers also.
Reply:You do what you can. That was a suggestion and a way to do something positive with the money because the flowers are expensive to just lay on the grave site or take to the family house. I would give to their choice of charities and maybe send a small arrangement with a note of the charity of sponsored.
Reply:It%26#039;s not wrong, it%26#039;s very thoughtful actually, they would just rather have the donation to the organization, than to have people spend money on flowers.
Reply:You can do both, if you wish. It is just that, sometimes, people view the short life of flowers and the expense associated them to be [hate to use this word!] wasteful; especially, when the money could be better spent on research for the disease that caused the death or hospice services, the financially struggling family, etc.
Reply:i would respect their wishes and donate to the charity if you want to do something
flower
Lost Ex BF to Suicide - Funeral Question?
My ex-bf committed suicide on Sat. His memorial service is Wed. We spent 7 years together, but that was five years ago. The relationship was very stormy; he was controlling and abusive. We managed to part on good terms, which was good since we worked in the same industry and sometimes crossed paths. I have forgiven him for his actions towards me, and we maintained a cordial, almost business like relationship. I am very upset about his suicide. The thought of going to the memorial service is making me ill. On one hand, perhaps I should be a %26#039;big girl%26#039; - I mean, nobody wants to go to a funeral. But it took me a long time to heal from the abuse, and I feel like seeing his family ( that I was never close with),his wife who saw me as a threat (no reason ), and dealing with seeing people from my old, bad life ( that I had left behind) is going to rip open a bunch of issues for me. I have sent flowers to his wife and his family, and will write them letters. Can I skip the service?
Lost Ex BF to Suicide - Funeral Question?
Since you have been apart for 5 years, and had both moved on with your lives, there is no reason you should have to attend. It is really about what you need. A funeral is to %26quot;pay your respects%26quot; to the bereaved family, and say a final good-bye to the deceased. If you do not get on well with the family, you won%26#039;t be doing them any favors by being there.
I was outraged when my long-term partner%26#039;s ex-wife (she had dumped him for another guy more than 8 years before his death) had the nerve to show up at his funeral and act like she was the grieving widow! He and I had been together for more than 7 years, and had stayed together until God saw fit to call him home. I couldn%26#039;t even go to the wake because the rest of the family had invited her! I didn%26#039;t mind that she attended, but she tried to make it all about her! That is just my story, though.
If you feel the need to say good-bye, go very early, don%26#039;t stay longer than you need to, and be discreet. Dignity and grace is the order of the day. The funeral is no place to dredge up bad memories. If you don%26#039;t want to see the family, perhaps you could visit his grave later and say good-bye to him privately.
Do what makes you feel at peace, while avoiding causing his family any further pain. All an ex needs to do in this situation is send flowers and perhaps a sympathy card to the family. More isn%26#039;t necessary, and likely won%26#039;t be welcome.
I%26#039;m sorry to hear about your loss. Even though it wasn%26#039;t a good relationship, you must have loved him once. You do what you need to, and don%26#039;t worry about what everybody else thinks. Good luck.
Reply:You%26#039;ve done enough.
Re: this word %26#039;closure%26#039; - is nonesense, there is never closure, you will always remember, but the key is to learn to live with the memory and be positive.
Be happy, move on.
Reply:I%26#039;d skip the service. I see no positive thing coming out of it for you or his family. Sending flowers and writing letters will be sufficient to my thinking. You might want to spend the day instead in meditation or doing some charity work. Don%26#039;t be alone. Good luck.
Reply:It would probably be a good idea to skip the service. If you feel you need the closure, then you can visit his grave at a time when you would be alone and don%26#039;t have to deal with the people from this not so happy past life.
I%26#039;m sorry you have to deal with this. Suicide is never easy to deal with, no matter what the relationship was.
Reply:Yes, skip it.
It wouldn%26#039;t be good for you or the family and serves no reasonable purpose.
Reply:ur own happiness and well being is the most important thing, it sounds liek it could seriously upset u if u go, i think sending flowers was sufficient enough to show them ur sympathies without revisiting old memories ♥
Reply:Yes, I think you should. You seem very upset about it. It would not do to show up at the funeral and be upset.
Your relationship was a long time ago.
and I do not think the wife, who is the chief mourner, will appreciate your being there.
Celebrate that you have and moved on, and healed from the abuse. Stay home, and mourn in private.
You can always visit the grave later, in private, and make your peace with yourself.
Reply:As much as I hate the expression, going to his memorial service may give you some %26quot;closure%26quot; . Even though you sound like you have moved on from what happened, I%26#039;m guessing his death has stirred up a few feelings and emotions for you.. However, if the mere thought of going is making you ill, perhaps staying away is the better option. You have more than done your %26quot;duty %26quot; by sending flowers and writing letters. You can always go to where he has been buried or his ashes laid to rest after all the fuss has died down and make your peace with him on your own in private.
Reply:Yes, skip the service. The service is for the living and we go to give comfort to those left behind. If his wife sees you as a threat then she will not be comforted, nor would his family be as you were not close.
Reply:I am very sorry to hear about your problem. You are not obligated to go the service, as you are not a member of his family. You have sent your condolences to the family and that is sufficient for now. The reason we attend funerals is to comfort the family and others who may be grieving. We also go to say farewell and to recieve the comfort from others. As an ex-girlfriend, you will probably not be recognized as a mourner who needs comfort, and you seem to believe that you won%26#039;t be able to provide succor to the other mourners by your presence. There is actually little closure to outstanding emotional issues that can be accomplished during a memorial service. You do not need to open up those issues immediately, but can grieve on your own. Good luck.
Reply:Yes. You hold no obligations to this man. Going to his funeral would just cause and emotional setback in what seems to be a healing wound. Going to his funeral would just open up old wounds for you, his wife, and possibly his family. You have done more than is required by writing letters and sending flowers.
Reply:i personally think its whatever your heart is telling you...and also to think of it this way you would hate to cause his wife any more pain, if she saw you as a threat you being at his funeral may upset her even more. however you could always go 30 minutes earlier than what it is posted...most funeral homes do allow this and most of the time no one is really there. also maybe take a friend with you or even your spouse to sorta calm the whole ex thing down....
Reply:We as people seek to find a formal reckoning, with life and death.
We seek to realize that the death was genuine, as unbelievable as it seems.
Whether the person was dearly loved, or somewhat of a monster in our life we seek to memorialize and say a final goodbye.
Some seek to see it through as a matter of formality.
Some seek solace in the company of others
Some seek a reason to find a smile for the person.
Many seek to find comfort in the words the minister speaks.
We come to mark this day as a way to honor and respect the person we knew.
Some of us try to go through it with no tears, while others are flooded deep feelings of despair.
Yet others are rejoicing that the pain has ended, looking forward to seeing them again someday in heaven.
You need to do what is best for your own heart and mind. Do what will assist you to seize the moment to say goodbye.
If you feel that being in that setting with that specific group of people would do you harm in some way, then it may be best to choose another way and another time to memorialize your former friend.
Etiquette is not my orientation, rather I come from the viewpoint of mental and emotional health.
Reply:Sure you can. You%26#039;ve paid your respects; there%26#039;s no need to force youself into an uncomfortable situation. These people were probably aware of the abuse you were getting for 5 years.
You%26#039;ve done enough in my opinion. the final decision is, however, up to you. Don%26#039;t torture yourself.
If you choose to go, keep it a short visit. You don%26#039;t have to say hello to everybody
Reply:Yes , Skip the service ! A show of sympathy through a card , and memorial flowers is more than adequate for your situation .
Reply:Yes, I think the wife would even want you to skip the service :) Flowers and letters will do :)
Reply:Yes. Why open a bunch of old wounds? You%26#039;ve done the mature thing and shown that you care by sending flowers and condolences, but you are no way obligated and by the sounds of it, not really welcome to go. If you feel you need it as some sort of closure, vistit the cemetary after the funeral.
Reply:If you are going to start trouble ( not saying that you are) then yes stay home. If you are going for closure then go and leave, dont linger. If my husbands x wife comes to his funneral she will be asked to leave. But she put me through hell. she didnt want him except to pay her bills and take care of her financially and when we met and he left her she was boo hooing so it all depends on why you are going
Reply:I think I would skip the service, It was very considerate of you to send flowers , and to even think of writing a letter.
Besides funerals are so overrated.
Reply:You are an old GF, he had moved on before his suicide, there%26#039;s no reason to attend. I think you%26#039;ve done more than enough by sending flowers %26amp; notes, that is all that is expected of you.
You need to think about you %26amp; your healing, no need to think of him (he doesn%26#039;t care anymore) or his family (they have each other).
genealogy mormon
Lost Ex BF to Suicide - Funeral Question?
Since you have been apart for 5 years, and had both moved on with your lives, there is no reason you should have to attend. It is really about what you need. A funeral is to %26quot;pay your respects%26quot; to the bereaved family, and say a final good-bye to the deceased. If you do not get on well with the family, you won%26#039;t be doing them any favors by being there.
I was outraged when my long-term partner%26#039;s ex-wife (she had dumped him for another guy more than 8 years before his death) had the nerve to show up at his funeral and act like she was the grieving widow! He and I had been together for more than 7 years, and had stayed together until God saw fit to call him home. I couldn%26#039;t even go to the wake because the rest of the family had invited her! I didn%26#039;t mind that she attended, but she tried to make it all about her! That is just my story, though.
If you feel the need to say good-bye, go very early, don%26#039;t stay longer than you need to, and be discreet. Dignity and grace is the order of the day. The funeral is no place to dredge up bad memories. If you don%26#039;t want to see the family, perhaps you could visit his grave later and say good-bye to him privately.
Do what makes you feel at peace, while avoiding causing his family any further pain. All an ex needs to do in this situation is send flowers and perhaps a sympathy card to the family. More isn%26#039;t necessary, and likely won%26#039;t be welcome.
I%26#039;m sorry to hear about your loss. Even though it wasn%26#039;t a good relationship, you must have loved him once. You do what you need to, and don%26#039;t worry about what everybody else thinks. Good luck.
Reply:You%26#039;ve done enough.
Re: this word %26#039;closure%26#039; - is nonesense, there is never closure, you will always remember, but the key is to learn to live with the memory and be positive.
Be happy, move on.
Reply:I%26#039;d skip the service. I see no positive thing coming out of it for you or his family. Sending flowers and writing letters will be sufficient to my thinking. You might want to spend the day instead in meditation or doing some charity work. Don%26#039;t be alone. Good luck.
Reply:It would probably be a good idea to skip the service. If you feel you need the closure, then you can visit his grave at a time when you would be alone and don%26#039;t have to deal with the people from this not so happy past life.
I%26#039;m sorry you have to deal with this. Suicide is never easy to deal with, no matter what the relationship was.
Reply:Yes, skip it.
It wouldn%26#039;t be good for you or the family and serves no reasonable purpose.
Reply:ur own happiness and well being is the most important thing, it sounds liek it could seriously upset u if u go, i think sending flowers was sufficient enough to show them ur sympathies without revisiting old memories ♥
Reply:Yes, I think you should. You seem very upset about it. It would not do to show up at the funeral and be upset.
Your relationship was a long time ago.
and I do not think the wife, who is the chief mourner, will appreciate your being there.
Celebrate that you have and moved on, and healed from the abuse. Stay home, and mourn in private.
You can always visit the grave later, in private, and make your peace with yourself.
Reply:As much as I hate the expression, going to his memorial service may give you some %26quot;closure%26quot; . Even though you sound like you have moved on from what happened, I%26#039;m guessing his death has stirred up a few feelings and emotions for you.. However, if the mere thought of going is making you ill, perhaps staying away is the better option. You have more than done your %26quot;duty %26quot; by sending flowers and writing letters. You can always go to where he has been buried or his ashes laid to rest after all the fuss has died down and make your peace with him on your own in private.
Reply:Yes, skip the service. The service is for the living and we go to give comfort to those left behind. If his wife sees you as a threat then she will not be comforted, nor would his family be as you were not close.
Reply:I am very sorry to hear about your problem. You are not obligated to go the service, as you are not a member of his family. You have sent your condolences to the family and that is sufficient for now. The reason we attend funerals is to comfort the family and others who may be grieving. We also go to say farewell and to recieve the comfort from others. As an ex-girlfriend, you will probably not be recognized as a mourner who needs comfort, and you seem to believe that you won%26#039;t be able to provide succor to the other mourners by your presence. There is actually little closure to outstanding emotional issues that can be accomplished during a memorial service. You do not need to open up those issues immediately, but can grieve on your own. Good luck.
Reply:Yes. You hold no obligations to this man. Going to his funeral would just cause and emotional setback in what seems to be a healing wound. Going to his funeral would just open up old wounds for you, his wife, and possibly his family. You have done more than is required by writing letters and sending flowers.
Reply:i personally think its whatever your heart is telling you...and also to think of it this way you would hate to cause his wife any more pain, if she saw you as a threat you being at his funeral may upset her even more. however you could always go 30 minutes earlier than what it is posted...most funeral homes do allow this and most of the time no one is really there. also maybe take a friend with you or even your spouse to sorta calm the whole ex thing down....
Reply:We as people seek to find a formal reckoning, with life and death.
We seek to realize that the death was genuine, as unbelievable as it seems.
Whether the person was dearly loved, or somewhat of a monster in our life we seek to memorialize and say a final goodbye.
Some seek to see it through as a matter of formality.
Some seek solace in the company of others
Some seek a reason to find a smile for the person.
Many seek to find comfort in the words the minister speaks.
We come to mark this day as a way to honor and respect the person we knew.
Some of us try to go through it with no tears, while others are flooded deep feelings of despair.
Yet others are rejoicing that the pain has ended, looking forward to seeing them again someday in heaven.
You need to do what is best for your own heart and mind. Do what will assist you to seize the moment to say goodbye.
If you feel that being in that setting with that specific group of people would do you harm in some way, then it may be best to choose another way and another time to memorialize your former friend.
Etiquette is not my orientation, rather I come from the viewpoint of mental and emotional health.
Reply:Sure you can. You%26#039;ve paid your respects; there%26#039;s no need to force youself into an uncomfortable situation. These people were probably aware of the abuse you were getting for 5 years.
You%26#039;ve done enough in my opinion. the final decision is, however, up to you. Don%26#039;t torture yourself.
If you choose to go, keep it a short visit. You don%26#039;t have to say hello to everybody
Reply:Yes , Skip the service ! A show of sympathy through a card , and memorial flowers is more than adequate for your situation .
Reply:Yes, I think the wife would even want you to skip the service :) Flowers and letters will do :)
Reply:Yes. Why open a bunch of old wounds? You%26#039;ve done the mature thing and shown that you care by sending flowers and condolences, but you are no way obligated and by the sounds of it, not really welcome to go. If you feel you need it as some sort of closure, vistit the cemetary after the funeral.
Reply:If you are going to start trouble ( not saying that you are) then yes stay home. If you are going for closure then go and leave, dont linger. If my husbands x wife comes to his funneral she will be asked to leave. But she put me through hell. she didnt want him except to pay her bills and take care of her financially and when we met and he left her she was boo hooing so it all depends on why you are going
Reply:I think I would skip the service, It was very considerate of you to send flowers , and to even think of writing a letter.
Besides funerals are so overrated.
Reply:You are an old GF, he had moved on before his suicide, there%26#039;s no reason to attend. I think you%26#039;ve done more than enough by sending flowers %26amp; notes, that is all that is expected of you.
You need to think about you %26amp; your healing, no need to think of him (he doesn%26#039;t care anymore) or his family (they have each other).
genealogy mormon
Would you go to a funeral if you haven't had contact?
There%26#039;s a long history of events that have lead us not to have contact with my spouses family. We%26#039;ve recently learned that his Grandma passed away yesterday and we%26#039;re invited to the funeral but I think some would breathe a sigh of relief if we don%26#039;t go--which we%26#039;re not. But others are thinking we%26#039;re still selfish for not going.
Last time we went was my father-inlaws and there was no tact there on his gravesite where my m-i-l attacked my husband so we don%26#039;t fancy another public scene of disgust. We%26#039;re sending flowers instead and card of well wishes even tho we haven%26#039;t spoken to his Gran in years. That%26#039;s suitable right?
Would you go to a funeral if you haven%26#039;t had contact?
Stay away. I went to my father%26#039;s funeral and still regret it. His wife went nuts on me because I had not seen my father in a while. My mother would go nuts if I did see my father and I was always so ripped apart at one point in my life I just had to stay away from both of them..hence the attack at the funeral which of course made me feel bad... It tok so long to recover from the grief that I wish I had never gone. There are better ways to say goodbye. I loved my father and funeral attendance does not mean squat to me.
Reply:If a violent confrontation is possible then you should stay away. It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. What youre doing is the best thing for everyone.
Reply:All you can do is make your own statement of integrity. If that means going to the funeral and enduring the M I L attacks, then do it. If it means sending flowers ( who will know? who will receive and send acknowledgement to you? The MIL? )
Anyway its not about what they choose to do. Its all about you and your standards. So forget about them. Pretend you are the only people on earth left for the grandmother, then decide what you want to do. ( Frankly if the scene you describe at the father-in-laws gravesite was that bad, everyone else there who viewed it would be on your side anyway since they could see what an animal she was)
Reply:It%26#039;s hard to answer without knowing the dynamics of you and your husband%26#039;s relationship with the grandmother. If there hasn%26#039;t been contact in years then maybe that means there WAS no relationship. Honeslty, she%26#039;s dead and you can send the flowers and let her RIP and she won%26#039;t know the difference whether you attended or not, it%26#039;s the others that will pass judgment on you and you don%26#039;t give a crap about them anyway, you%26#039;ve already written them off so C%26#039;est la vie, they%26#039;ll move on and so will you...
Reply:The actions that you are taking are very smart.
My father abused my mother and me. When he died a few months after my mother, I told the funeral home to handle everything, as I was not about to attend his funeral or the burial in the plot.
Minddoctor, France
Reply:I probably wouldn%26#039;t go as far as you did. Signing the guest book on line would do it for me.
Reply:Who cares what others think? I know some people that wouldn%26#039;t send flowers and a card.
Reply:Sometimes you don%26#039;t go because of the relationship you had with the deceased, but for the support you give the ones that remain here on earth.
Reply:If his mother is going to make a scene in public then chances are you should just send your flower basket with your condolenses and just not go. I don%26#039;t know the reasons for your not having contact with that family, but it sounds like it%26#039;s dangerour for you to go.
Reply:Ask hubby to talk to his mother and say if she can%26#039;t promise there will be no episodes like at his fathers funeral you will not attend.
Ultimately it is your husbands decision, as it is his family.
Reply:Yes I would have because in time of death we put aside our different and come together to share time and memories.
Reply:We must be related....one of my sisters (41 years old at the time) tried to beat up my other sister at my mom%26#039;s funeral for something that happened when she was 13 and the other had absolutely no knowledge. In fact, she%26#039;s even cancelled her vacation/hotel reservations 3 different times between Las Vegas and Atlantic City, NJ....
I%26#039;d just send the flowers.
acting resources
Last time we went was my father-inlaws and there was no tact there on his gravesite where my m-i-l attacked my husband so we don%26#039;t fancy another public scene of disgust. We%26#039;re sending flowers instead and card of well wishes even tho we haven%26#039;t spoken to his Gran in years. That%26#039;s suitable right?
Would you go to a funeral if you haven%26#039;t had contact?
Stay away. I went to my father%26#039;s funeral and still regret it. His wife went nuts on me because I had not seen my father in a while. My mother would go nuts if I did see my father and I was always so ripped apart at one point in my life I just had to stay away from both of them..hence the attack at the funeral which of course made me feel bad... It tok so long to recover from the grief that I wish I had never gone. There are better ways to say goodbye. I loved my father and funeral attendance does not mean squat to me.
Reply:If a violent confrontation is possible then you should stay away. It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. What youre doing is the best thing for everyone.
Reply:All you can do is make your own statement of integrity. If that means going to the funeral and enduring the M I L attacks, then do it. If it means sending flowers ( who will know? who will receive and send acknowledgement to you? The MIL? )
Anyway its not about what they choose to do. Its all about you and your standards. So forget about them. Pretend you are the only people on earth left for the grandmother, then decide what you want to do. ( Frankly if the scene you describe at the father-in-laws gravesite was that bad, everyone else there who viewed it would be on your side anyway since they could see what an animal she was)
Reply:It%26#039;s hard to answer without knowing the dynamics of you and your husband%26#039;s relationship with the grandmother. If there hasn%26#039;t been contact in years then maybe that means there WAS no relationship. Honeslty, she%26#039;s dead and you can send the flowers and let her RIP and she won%26#039;t know the difference whether you attended or not, it%26#039;s the others that will pass judgment on you and you don%26#039;t give a crap about them anyway, you%26#039;ve already written them off so C%26#039;est la vie, they%26#039;ll move on and so will you...
Reply:The actions that you are taking are very smart.
My father abused my mother and me. When he died a few months after my mother, I told the funeral home to handle everything, as I was not about to attend his funeral or the burial in the plot.
Minddoctor, France
Reply:I probably wouldn%26#039;t go as far as you did. Signing the guest book on line would do it for me.
Reply:Who cares what others think? I know some people that wouldn%26#039;t send flowers and a card.
Reply:Sometimes you don%26#039;t go because of the relationship you had with the deceased, but for the support you give the ones that remain here on earth.
Reply:If his mother is going to make a scene in public then chances are you should just send your flower basket with your condolenses and just not go. I don%26#039;t know the reasons for your not having contact with that family, but it sounds like it%26#039;s dangerour for you to go.
Reply:Ask hubby to talk to his mother and say if she can%26#039;t promise there will be no episodes like at his fathers funeral you will not attend.
Ultimately it is your husbands decision, as it is his family.
Reply:Yes I would have because in time of death we put aside our different and come together to share time and memories.
Reply:We must be related....one of my sisters (41 years old at the time) tried to beat up my other sister at my mom%26#039;s funeral for something that happened when she was 13 and the other had absolutely no knowledge. In fact, she%26#039;s even cancelled her vacation/hotel reservations 3 different times between Las Vegas and Atlantic City, NJ....
I%26#039;d just send the flowers.
acting resources
Jehovah's Witnesses death/funeral?
Help...my friend just called and told me that she lost a co-worker. She%26#039;s obviously very upset and was trying to think of what to do for the family, who are Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses. Sad to say, neither of us knows much about the religion, so we are not sure if there are any rituals (or taboos) she should know of. (We are both Protestants.) The last thing she wants to do is be inappropriate or insulting.
Aside from visiting the family (or calling to check in on them), what should she do, i.e, food, flowers, relgious card, etc. Aside from the usual, is there anything in particular she should know about ettiquette at the funeral?
Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses death/funeral?
Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses have no particular rituals associated with funerals or burials. Relatively few funeral customs common in the United States are rejected by Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses.
Flowers, food, practical assistance, and expressions of sympathy by Witness and non-Witness family, friends, and acquaintances are all welcomed by Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses.
Any comforting passage from the bible is entirely appropriate. It is perfectly acceptable to remark or write that the deceased will %26#039;rest in peace%26#039; or %26#039;find peace in the hereafter%26#039; or be %26#039;remembered by God%26#039;.
Religious cards sometimes reflect ideas which Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses believe conflict with the bible. For example, avoid ideas which imply that death is %26quot;natural%26quot; or that the deceased is in heaven. Witnesses believe that the vast majority of deceased persons are metaphorically %26quot;asleep%26quot; in God%26#039;s memory and will be resurrected sometime after Armageddon. Terms such as %26quot;hereafter%26quot; and %26quot;paradise%26quot; and %26quot;afterlife%26quot; are not in themselves disagreeable to Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses (even if they do view such terms differently than a non-Witness may have intended).
They do not display crosses or other icons (but understand that those who attend a wake or funeral may choose to wear these on their persons). Witnesses do not connect angels with death. Witnesses will not agree with those who suggest that the deceased was %26quot;taken%26quot; or %26quot;called%26quot; by God, or that his death was God%26#039;s will or part of God%26#039;s plan.
Witness funerals do not generally eulogize the deceased, but a few families may do so. If you plan to attend, the funeral talk is generally only ten minutes or so, and it is a great sign of respect to bring a bible and follow along with the handful of Scriptures the speaker reads. The funeral speaker tries to include the favorite Scriptures of the deceased. Attire and accessories should be subdued, but black is not required.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20001001/article...
http://watchtower.org/e/20001001/
http://watchtower.org/e/pr/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/dg/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/lmn/index.htm?ar...
http://watchtower.org/e/ti/index.htm?art...
Reply:It is very thoughtful of you to ask a question such as this. Report It
Reply:Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses believe that when someone dies, they are asleep in death awaiting the resurrection. There are no rituals, no taboos. Just be honest and be yourself.
Food and flowers or card would be nice, just show that you care and are sorry for their loss. I haven%26#039;t been to to many funerals, but because of our hope of the resurrection, even though we grief the loss of a loved one, we know that we have the hope of seeing them again in the future. So usually, it%26#039;s very dignified and respectful. Many do a memorial service without having the body.
Reply:--IT IS INDEED kind of you to have such concern!
--ANY CONCERNED though %26amp; deed as to comfort should not offend any of us, of course we are all individuals and might react differently!
--HERE IS SOME info that you might find helpful in one of our articles in part:
*** w77 6/1 pp. 346-347 Mourning and Funerals—For Whom? ***
***WHY A FUNERAL OR MEMORIAL SERVICE?
.........Some have thought that a funeral is for the purpose of eulogizing the deceased, for the purpose of speaking well of such a one and giving him what is known as a “good death.” But is this correct? Remember that Jehovah God permitted the nation of Israel to weep over Nadab and Abihu, the two sons of Aaron who perished because they offered illegitimate fire—although their immediate family was forbidden to mourn them.—Lev. 10:1-7.
--Nor can it be said that a funeral service is somewhat like a sacrament that bestows virtue upon the deceased. True, most church members of Christendom would view with horror the prospect of a burial without a church service. Thus the Roman Catholic Church has various kinds of Masses for this very purpose. These may contain blessings for the deceased and are claimed to help a soul in purgatory. However, all such practices have no Scriptural backing, for God’s Word makes clear that the dead are unconscious and remain so until the resurrection.—Eccl. 9:5, 10.
--Then why should a funeral or memorial service be held for a deceased person? There are a number of good reasons. To begin with, there is the matter of comforting the bereaved. Christians are commanded to comfort all that mourn, including those among themselves who may mourn. (Isa. 61:1, 2; 2 Cor. 1:3-5) As a rule death causes mourning. In particular, it is comforting to hear a discussion on Jehovah’s marvelous attributes, especially his great love in providing his Son as a ransom so that mankind can have the hope of everlasting life. Aside from personal expressions that they may feel impelled to make, those in attendance bring comfort to the bereaved by their very presence.
--There is also the matter of giving a witness to Bible truths. Usually a funeral is attended by neighbors, acquaintances, business associates and relatives, who may not be believers. All these stand to benefit from a funeral or memorial service at which a discourse is given presenting the Bible view as to the condition of the dead, why men die and the hope of a resurrection. Because of such fine purposes being served, it seems that a Christian minister could see his way clear to conduct the funeral of a Witness’ unbelieving relative—or even of one who, in a condition of extreme despondency or mental derangement, had taken his own life. And fellow Christians could extend comfort to the bereaved Witness by attending.
--Another good purpose that a funeral service can fulfill is that called to our attention by Solomon. Remember, he said: “Better is it to go to the house of mourning than to go to the banquet house, because that is the end of all mankind; and the one alive should take it to his heart.” (Eccl. 7:2) The fact of death gives us cause for reflection on the transitoriness of life. It should also help us to appreciate what a blessing life is. In death there is no consciousness, no feeling, no communication, no joy, no accomplishment.
--Among some ancient peoples a funeral was an exceedingly sad affair, symbolizing defeat. It was therefore held at night. While it is true that Christians do not sorrow as do others who have no hope, nevertheless it would seem that at a funeral or memorial service, or in the presence of the deceased at home or at a funeral parlor, there should not be any hilarity or jocularity, as though one were at a picnic or a feast. There is a time for every affair, and the time of death is not the time for noisy laughter.—Eccl. 3:1, 4.
--And further, when a service is held for a deceased faithful servant of Jehovah God, the occasion could well be used to note that one’s integrity-keeping course in spite of all manner of obstacles. (2 Sam. 1:26) True, as Mark Anthony said in his famed funeral oration: “I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.” So our purpose is not to eulogize or extol creatures, but to consider their example as one to be imitated. As the apostle Paul put it: “[Do] not become sluggish, but be imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”—Heb. 6:12............
Reply:yes when it comes that time you can also do some reading about the hopes of death the future they have... start bye reading Revelation 21:3,4 and be there with the family in times like this Ecclesiastes 7:1-2 %26quot;1 A name is better than good oil, and the day of death than the day of one’s being born. 2 Better is it to go to the house of mourning than to go to the banquet house, because that is the end of all mankind; and the one alive should take [it] to his heart.%26quot;
Reply:you can be there for her co-worker. a call on the phone or bring a dish of food. saying I am sorry to hear about the death of someone is ok to say. learn about Jehovah Witnesses at www.watchtower.org. I lost my husband of 35 years, three and half years ago. I still cry missing him
Reply:This is a very kind, fine thing that you are asking before attending.
And, appreciated as well.
In less than a yr., and 1/2 I%26#039;ve had 3 family funerals to attend, 2 I had to help plan. All funerals are dependent upon the family. As to music, ceremony, prayers etc...
The usual condolences are fine, flowers, a food dish is o.k. also.
Just you even being there is good, for support.
Please, dress appropriately; this is important.
That you aren%26#039;t hanging out @ the top or bottom.
Zip up; button up, nothing see-thru etc...
For some families, all blk; for some it%26#039;s blk %26amp; wht.
This again, depends on the family.
A dress or skirt %26amp; nylons .
These are women%26#039;s clothes, and it shows deep respect for the family. Men--a suit.
Make-up is optional. Be moderate.
You can bring your own Bible, if u like.
PLEASE do not say;
That he/she is in a better place;
that he/she is w/ Jesus in heaven;
that the angels took him/ her;
PLEASE DO NOT WEAR A CROSS,
or ANY other religious icons.
If you give a card or flowers, same thing; NO religious icons.
We Throughly Believe in the Resurrection, so if u%26#039;d like to say something to bring comfort....speak of the resurrection hope, that they will see the loved 1 again.
Jehovah does not forget a single 1 of us.
1 Thess. 4:13,14 brings comfort,also,
1 Cor. 15---yes, the entire chapter.
Again, thank you for asking.
Jehovah knows this fine deed you have done / are doing.
Reply:There are no rituals. But be aware that usually at Witness funerals, the brothers and sisters don%26#039;t wear black. Just smart.
You won%26#039;t get a boring sermon from a vicar but what will happen is a song will be sung at the beginning (not hymns) this is chosen by the family. Then a prayer. There maybe a short history of that persons life. It will not be a long service. Flowers and cards are appreciated but be aware that crossess or religious coniations (like angels) are not appropriate. I hope this helps. I lost my father (a witness) in December and many non-witnessess were very impressed by the way it was handled in a positive not unhappy way.
performing arts
Aside from visiting the family (or calling to check in on them), what should she do, i.e, food, flowers, relgious card, etc. Aside from the usual, is there anything in particular she should know about ettiquette at the funeral?
Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses death/funeral?
Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses have no particular rituals associated with funerals or burials. Relatively few funeral customs common in the United States are rejected by Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses.
Flowers, food, practical assistance, and expressions of sympathy by Witness and non-Witness family, friends, and acquaintances are all welcomed by Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses.
Any comforting passage from the bible is entirely appropriate. It is perfectly acceptable to remark or write that the deceased will %26#039;rest in peace%26#039; or %26#039;find peace in the hereafter%26#039; or be %26#039;remembered by God%26#039;.
Religious cards sometimes reflect ideas which Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses believe conflict with the bible. For example, avoid ideas which imply that death is %26quot;natural%26quot; or that the deceased is in heaven. Witnesses believe that the vast majority of deceased persons are metaphorically %26quot;asleep%26quot; in God%26#039;s memory and will be resurrected sometime after Armageddon. Terms such as %26quot;hereafter%26quot; and %26quot;paradise%26quot; and %26quot;afterlife%26quot; are not in themselves disagreeable to Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses (even if they do view such terms differently than a non-Witness may have intended).
They do not display crosses or other icons (but understand that those who attend a wake or funeral may choose to wear these on their persons). Witnesses do not connect angels with death. Witnesses will not agree with those who suggest that the deceased was %26quot;taken%26quot; or %26quot;called%26quot; by God, or that his death was God%26#039;s will or part of God%26#039;s plan.
Witness funerals do not generally eulogize the deceased, but a few families may do so. If you plan to attend, the funeral talk is generally only ten minutes or so, and it is a great sign of respect to bring a bible and follow along with the handful of Scriptures the speaker reads. The funeral speaker tries to include the favorite Scriptures of the deceased. Attire and accessories should be subdued, but black is not required.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20001001/article...
http://watchtower.org/e/20001001/
http://watchtower.org/e/pr/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/dg/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/lmn/index.htm?ar...
http://watchtower.org/e/ti/index.htm?art...
Reply:It is very thoughtful of you to ask a question such as this. Report It
Reply:Jehovah%26#039;s Witnesses believe that when someone dies, they are asleep in death awaiting the resurrection. There are no rituals, no taboos. Just be honest and be yourself.
Food and flowers or card would be nice, just show that you care and are sorry for their loss. I haven%26#039;t been to to many funerals, but because of our hope of the resurrection, even though we grief the loss of a loved one, we know that we have the hope of seeing them again in the future. So usually, it%26#039;s very dignified and respectful. Many do a memorial service without having the body.
Reply:--IT IS INDEED kind of you to have such concern!
--ANY CONCERNED though %26amp; deed as to comfort should not offend any of us, of course we are all individuals and might react differently!
--HERE IS SOME info that you might find helpful in one of our articles in part:
*** w77 6/1 pp. 346-347 Mourning and Funerals—For Whom? ***
***WHY A FUNERAL OR MEMORIAL SERVICE?
.........Some have thought that a funeral is for the purpose of eulogizing the deceased, for the purpose of speaking well of such a one and giving him what is known as a “good death.” But is this correct? Remember that Jehovah God permitted the nation of Israel to weep over Nadab and Abihu, the two sons of Aaron who perished because they offered illegitimate fire—although their immediate family was forbidden to mourn them.—Lev. 10:1-7.
--Nor can it be said that a funeral service is somewhat like a sacrament that bestows virtue upon the deceased. True, most church members of Christendom would view with horror the prospect of a burial without a church service. Thus the Roman Catholic Church has various kinds of Masses for this very purpose. These may contain blessings for the deceased and are claimed to help a soul in purgatory. However, all such practices have no Scriptural backing, for God’s Word makes clear that the dead are unconscious and remain so until the resurrection.—Eccl. 9:5, 10.
--Then why should a funeral or memorial service be held for a deceased person? There are a number of good reasons. To begin with, there is the matter of comforting the bereaved. Christians are commanded to comfort all that mourn, including those among themselves who may mourn. (Isa. 61:1, 2; 2 Cor. 1:3-5) As a rule death causes mourning. In particular, it is comforting to hear a discussion on Jehovah’s marvelous attributes, especially his great love in providing his Son as a ransom so that mankind can have the hope of everlasting life. Aside from personal expressions that they may feel impelled to make, those in attendance bring comfort to the bereaved by their very presence.
--There is also the matter of giving a witness to Bible truths. Usually a funeral is attended by neighbors, acquaintances, business associates and relatives, who may not be believers. All these stand to benefit from a funeral or memorial service at which a discourse is given presenting the Bible view as to the condition of the dead, why men die and the hope of a resurrection. Because of such fine purposes being served, it seems that a Christian minister could see his way clear to conduct the funeral of a Witness’ unbelieving relative—or even of one who, in a condition of extreme despondency or mental derangement, had taken his own life. And fellow Christians could extend comfort to the bereaved Witness by attending.
--Another good purpose that a funeral service can fulfill is that called to our attention by Solomon. Remember, he said: “Better is it to go to the house of mourning than to go to the banquet house, because that is the end of all mankind; and the one alive should take it to his heart.” (Eccl. 7:2) The fact of death gives us cause for reflection on the transitoriness of life. It should also help us to appreciate what a blessing life is. In death there is no consciousness, no feeling, no communication, no joy, no accomplishment.
--Among some ancient peoples a funeral was an exceedingly sad affair, symbolizing defeat. It was therefore held at night. While it is true that Christians do not sorrow as do others who have no hope, nevertheless it would seem that at a funeral or memorial service, or in the presence of the deceased at home or at a funeral parlor, there should not be any hilarity or jocularity, as though one were at a picnic or a feast. There is a time for every affair, and the time of death is not the time for noisy laughter.—Eccl. 3:1, 4.
--And further, when a service is held for a deceased faithful servant of Jehovah God, the occasion could well be used to note that one’s integrity-keeping course in spite of all manner of obstacles. (2 Sam. 1:26) True, as Mark Anthony said in his famed funeral oration: “I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.” So our purpose is not to eulogize or extol creatures, but to consider their example as one to be imitated. As the apostle Paul put it: “[Do] not become sluggish, but be imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”—Heb. 6:12............
Reply:yes when it comes that time you can also do some reading about the hopes of death the future they have... start bye reading Revelation 21:3,4 and be there with the family in times like this Ecclesiastes 7:1-2 %26quot;1 A name is better than good oil, and the day of death than the day of one’s being born. 2 Better is it to go to the house of mourning than to go to the banquet house, because that is the end of all mankind; and the one alive should take [it] to his heart.%26quot;
Reply:you can be there for her co-worker. a call on the phone or bring a dish of food. saying I am sorry to hear about the death of someone is ok to say. learn about Jehovah Witnesses at www.watchtower.org. I lost my husband of 35 years, three and half years ago. I still cry missing him
Reply:This is a very kind, fine thing that you are asking before attending.
And, appreciated as well.
In less than a yr., and 1/2 I%26#039;ve had 3 family funerals to attend, 2 I had to help plan. All funerals are dependent upon the family. As to music, ceremony, prayers etc...
The usual condolences are fine, flowers, a food dish is o.k. also.
Just you even being there is good, for support.
Please, dress appropriately; this is important.
That you aren%26#039;t hanging out @ the top or bottom.
Zip up; button up, nothing see-thru etc...
For some families, all blk; for some it%26#039;s blk %26amp; wht.
This again, depends on the family.
A dress or skirt %26amp; nylons .
These are women%26#039;s clothes, and it shows deep respect for the family. Men--a suit.
Make-up is optional. Be moderate.
You can bring your own Bible, if u like.
PLEASE do not say;
That he/she is in a better place;
that he/she is w/ Jesus in heaven;
that the angels took him/ her;
PLEASE DO NOT WEAR A CROSS,
or ANY other religious icons.
If you give a card or flowers, same thing; NO religious icons.
We Throughly Believe in the Resurrection, so if u%26#039;d like to say something to bring comfort....speak of the resurrection hope, that they will see the loved 1 again.
Jehovah does not forget a single 1 of us.
1 Thess. 4:13,14 brings comfort,also,
1 Cor. 15---yes, the entire chapter.
Again, thank you for asking.
Jehovah knows this fine deed you have done / are doing.
Reply:There are no rituals. But be aware that usually at Witness funerals, the brothers and sisters don%26#039;t wear black. Just smart.
You won%26#039;t get a boring sermon from a vicar but what will happen is a song will be sung at the beginning (not hymns) this is chosen by the family. Then a prayer. There maybe a short history of that persons life. It will not be a long service. Flowers and cards are appreciated but be aware that crossess or religious coniations (like angels) are not appropriate. I hope this helps. I lost my father (a witness) in December and many non-witnessess were very impressed by the way it was handled in a positive not unhappy way.
performing arts
What should I bring to a Thai funeral?
I am contemplating whether I should attend a Thai funeral here in the States (USA). I have spent 2 years in Thailand and never had to attend a funeral until I got back to the States!...LOL
I am not sure what to bring. I was thinking flowers will suffice.
Please confirm.
Thanks.
What should I bring to a Thai funeral?
Firstly, you seem unsure as to whether to attend, my advice would be to go. Sure there will be cultural differences but just keep quiet and watch others, and you will be OK.
If it is a traditional Thai funeral (not sure as in the US) then the wake could well be from 3-5 days with the body kept in an elaborate coffin in a side room at the Wat. The family may stay at the Wat and if not, they will spend a lot of time there during the wake and receive different mourners every day. The final day will generally be the cremation ceremony, and will get the biggest turn-out. During this time, monks will hold a buddhist chanting ceremony every evening.
If in the Thai style, a wreath would be appreciated I am sure, as it would be on display for a few days, and the more wreaths on display the better. Like others have said, when you actually attend you should hand over an envelope with some money to help the family with the costs of the funeral, you can imagine its quite expensive with it being held over a few days. The amount of this offering would, of course, depend on your income and how well you knew the deceased.
I also understand that different flowers have different %26quot;meanings%26quot; in Thai culture, so you might want to get the wreath from a Thai florist who will know how to prepare the wreath, or check that the flowers are appropriate for a funeral.
If more of a Western style funeral, then maybe just a small bouquet and the envelope would be ok I guess.
Reply:If it%26#039;s a thai funeral, then a floral wreath is appropriate. I%26#039;m not sure if you can ask any thai acquaintants who also go to the same funeral if money is also appropriate for the family of the deceased. In thailand, we always put in some cash in an envelope and drop it in a box or money tray as a token of support to help out the family of the deceased. I live in the US and have not gone to any thai funeral. I only signed the guest book and give the family the condolences (these funeral are all of Americans). I%26#039;m not sure I will be of much help.
Reply:Sorry, I am not Thai, but I will recommend calling ahead if you are not sure and ask what do the family accepts. This way you can remove all doubts. Since the Thai family is in the States, their funeral arrangement may not be fully Thai-style.
In any case, a small donation or a flower wreath will always be appreciated.
Reply:Please do not bring anythigs. Because do not know can use anything you bring. Please do note some money to the family so they can buy anything importance.
Thank You
ChiangMai Local guide
http://www.thai4u-thailand.com
Reply:Vincent says it well :-)
Flowers (preferably white and red, fragrant ones) and handkerchiefs will be just fine.
Reply:Bring condoms. They usually put a few in the grave so he/she can enjoy sexlife in heaven/hell without heavenly STD%26#039;s.
You might think it%26#039;s a joke, but all thai funerals i have been to have done just this. Bring a pack of nice rubbers and you can also toss in a sextoy.
fitness
I am not sure what to bring. I was thinking flowers will suffice.
Please confirm.
Thanks.
What should I bring to a Thai funeral?
Firstly, you seem unsure as to whether to attend, my advice would be to go. Sure there will be cultural differences but just keep quiet and watch others, and you will be OK.
If it is a traditional Thai funeral (not sure as in the US) then the wake could well be from 3-5 days with the body kept in an elaborate coffin in a side room at the Wat. The family may stay at the Wat and if not, they will spend a lot of time there during the wake and receive different mourners every day. The final day will generally be the cremation ceremony, and will get the biggest turn-out. During this time, monks will hold a buddhist chanting ceremony every evening.
If in the Thai style, a wreath would be appreciated I am sure, as it would be on display for a few days, and the more wreaths on display the better. Like others have said, when you actually attend you should hand over an envelope with some money to help the family with the costs of the funeral, you can imagine its quite expensive with it being held over a few days. The amount of this offering would, of course, depend on your income and how well you knew the deceased.
I also understand that different flowers have different %26quot;meanings%26quot; in Thai culture, so you might want to get the wreath from a Thai florist who will know how to prepare the wreath, or check that the flowers are appropriate for a funeral.
If more of a Western style funeral, then maybe just a small bouquet and the envelope would be ok I guess.
Reply:If it%26#039;s a thai funeral, then a floral wreath is appropriate. I%26#039;m not sure if you can ask any thai acquaintants who also go to the same funeral if money is also appropriate for the family of the deceased. In thailand, we always put in some cash in an envelope and drop it in a box or money tray as a token of support to help out the family of the deceased. I live in the US and have not gone to any thai funeral. I only signed the guest book and give the family the condolences (these funeral are all of Americans). I%26#039;m not sure I will be of much help.
Reply:Sorry, I am not Thai, but I will recommend calling ahead if you are not sure and ask what do the family accepts. This way you can remove all doubts. Since the Thai family is in the States, their funeral arrangement may not be fully Thai-style.
In any case, a small donation or a flower wreath will always be appreciated.
Reply:Please do not bring anythigs. Because do not know can use anything you bring. Please do note some money to the family so they can buy anything importance.
Thank You
ChiangMai Local guide
http://www.thai4u-thailand.com
Reply:Vincent says it well :-)
Flowers (preferably white and red, fragrant ones) and handkerchiefs will be just fine.
Reply:Bring condoms. They usually put a few in the grave so he/she can enjoy sexlife in heaven/hell without heavenly STD%26#039;s.
You might think it%26#039;s a joke, but all thai funerals i have been to have done just this. Bring a pack of nice rubbers and you can also toss in a sextoy.
fitness
Does anyone know anything about Dutch funeral etiquette?
What are appropriate expressions of sympathy?
Are flowers appropriate and if so, what type? What other things should one know when attending a Christian funeral in Holland?
Does anyone know anything about Dutch funeral etiquette?
Express condolences to each Family member on the return to the house or restaurant for the %26#039;Coffee table%26#039;. Easiest way is to follow the queue, and say %26quot;gecondeleerd met je (family member) moeder, vader, man, vrouw etc. etc.%26quot; (mother, father, husband, wife etc. etc.) As for flowers, same as U.K. Spray or Wreath. All else also very much like U.K., so if you have attended a funeral in U.K. you will be ok.
I know it%26#039;s rather basic, but it should get you through.
Reply:We used to live in the Netherlands (Holland is actually a province, not a country, the country is called The Netherlands, they%26#039;ll appreciate it if you know that) and attended a few funerals. They are pretty much the same as over here with regards to flowers or donations, the family will probably have let people know before hand what they prefer, however just a tip, the men do not wear black ties if you are going with a man. The tie won%26#039;t be bright colours or anything, but it won%26#039;t be black either, not sure why.
Reply:Be quiet, respectful and don%26#039;t smile.
Reply:If you dont ge ta decent answer by the morning I can let you know! My boyfriend is Dutch (but asleep at the mo!) Will check back in the a.m.
Reply:I have tried to look on the internet to give you a website but I can%26#039;t find anything
Reply:You have to play bagpipes
affiliate
Are flowers appropriate and if so, what type? What other things should one know when attending a Christian funeral in Holland?
Does anyone know anything about Dutch funeral etiquette?
Express condolences to each Family member on the return to the house or restaurant for the %26#039;Coffee table%26#039;. Easiest way is to follow the queue, and say %26quot;gecondeleerd met je (family member) moeder, vader, man, vrouw etc. etc.%26quot; (mother, father, husband, wife etc. etc.) As for flowers, same as U.K. Spray or Wreath. All else also very much like U.K., so if you have attended a funeral in U.K. you will be ok.
I know it%26#039;s rather basic, but it should get you through.
Reply:We used to live in the Netherlands (Holland is actually a province, not a country, the country is called The Netherlands, they%26#039;ll appreciate it if you know that) and attended a few funerals. They are pretty much the same as over here with regards to flowers or donations, the family will probably have let people know before hand what they prefer, however just a tip, the men do not wear black ties if you are going with a man. The tie won%26#039;t be bright colours or anything, but it won%26#039;t be black either, not sure why.
Reply:Be quiet, respectful and don%26#039;t smile.
Reply:If you dont ge ta decent answer by the morning I can let you know! My boyfriend is Dutch (but asleep at the mo!) Will check back in the a.m.
Reply:I have tried to look on the internet to give you a website but I can%26#039;t find anything
Reply:You have to play bagpipes
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I went to a funeral for a 18 day old baby, I am usure if what I said was nice?
A co-worker of mine lost his 3 week old baby. The baby died from heart failure.
I went to the funeral today and hugged him and then hugged his wife and said, %26quot;I am so sorry.%26quot; She said %26quot;Thank you for coming, it means so much to us%26quot;
I smiled and said %26quot;I am glad I could be here for you.%26quot; Then I looked at all the flowers around us and the casket and said, %26quot;Everything looks so beautiful for him.%26quot;
Afterwards I was thinking maybe I shouldn%26#039;t have said that because its supposed to be a sad time, not a %26quot;beautiful%26quot; time. I meant that everything was beautiful for the baby and it showed how much he was loved.
What do you think? Do you think she knew what I meant?
I went to a funeral for a 18 day old baby, I am usure if what I said was nice?
You said exactly the right thing. They wanted everything to look beautiful for their precious baby and they wanted everyone to know how much they loved him. Your remarks were perfect.
Reply:I think what you said was very nice. She knew it was heartfelt, and really....is there anything perfect to say at a time like that ?
You did a great job, and you%26#039;re a very kind co-worker.
Reply:i am sure she knew what you ment!!! Dont worry about it! God, I know that must be so hard for her!!! i could not imagine loosing my lil man!!! :(
Reply:I think she would%26#039;ve understood quite well considering they would have given him a beautiful life if he was still alive! I%26#039;m sure they were there to pay respects, mourn and celebrate the short little life that he did indeed have! Like all parents they want the best for their children and will do anything and everything to keep them happy and satisfied and I bet while planning his funeral she though of him and what his little eyes could see. I am very sorry to hear about this loss, my condolences for the little angel. What you said wasn%26#039;t rude in any way..I am sure they appreciated you being there..God bless you!
Reply:Don%26#039;t worry,she knew what you meant.you are very polite?
Reply:It is a sad time for those of us who are on earth but if your a Christian like I am then it shouldn%26#039;t be a sad time. Trust me I know that sounds crazy, but the baby is with God now and will never hurt or see hurt. When a loved one goes to Heaven then it is a very beautiful time though it may not be to us on earth. I%26#039;m sure ur friend understood what you ment.
Reply:My baby died when he was 3 months old and people said some really stupid things. What you said doesn%26#039;t seem bad at all. It%26#039;s stressful going to a baby%26#039;s funeral even if it%26#039;s not your child. Don%26#039;t beat yourself up. It%26#039;s ok.
Reply:I%26#039;m sure she knew what you meant. She probably had in mind that sometimes people are uncomfortable at funerals, especially children%26#039;s funerals, and sometimes just don%26#039;t know what to say.
Reply:What you said sounds nice to me. I%26#039;m sure she understood.
Reply:I think those words were okay. I dont think she would think of that in the moment though.
Reply:You said the right thing! Nothing wrong with that.
Reply:yikes i hate those situations......i think you did well
Reply:I%26#039;m sure she knew what you meant. You did fine.
Reply:I feel you said something kind and caring. In all honesty, your co-worker probably didn%26#039;t even process what you said. If my baby had died I would be numb and barely functioning. What she will remember is that you attended the funeral and cared enough to come and support them at this difficult time.
It is always difficult to know what to say. No matter what you say, it is awkward and uncomfortable. You did just fine.
Reply:i%26#039;m sure she knew what you meant. i think its a good way to let her know that they have made the funeral a beautiful and warm place to remember their son. at least she can know that she has done a good thing for her son because of what you said.
Reply:Even if she didn%26#039;t, it%26#039;s already been said, you meant well, don%26#039;t worry.
Reply:i agree i would probably say the same thing i think she new what you ment i wouldnt worrie about it xx
Reply:yes, she deffinitely understood what you said, she couldn%26#039;t have thought anything else............u shouldn%26#039;t don%26#039;t feel bad
Reply:I think you did just fine...she knew what you meant. You handled the situation perfectly.
Reply:My brother just attended a funeral for a baby girl who was 1 week old. They placed her in a carrier instead of a casket and hung a mobile over her head and that is how they wanted their daughter to be remembered.
Reply:The funeral was for him..and it was meant to look beautiful for him. It was so his final days here...what you said was just fine. Yes..it is a very sad time...so hard to deal with..but if you believe like I do..that when we pass on..our souls are still here..the baby saw the beauty surrounding him..and it comforted him.
Reply:Yes, I%26#039;m sure you wouldn%26#039;t have upset them by saying that.
Reply:It was nice and I%26#039;m sure that she has much more on her mind than anything you said, afterall her life will never be same, and they both will need more support.
Reply:u did just fine hun
Reply:For sure she knew what you meant. What you said was really nice - at last, a beautiful funeral was the only thing that could have done to the baby. You shouldn%26#039;t worry about it.
Reply:She probably knew what you meant, even if she did find it insensitive at the time. After she heals a bit she%26#039;ll understand even more.
Reply:My mother said the same thing to very close friends of ours at a funeral yesterday morning. Believe me you did nothing wrong. I%26#039;m sure your words were very comforting.
Reply:Yes, she knew what you meant, and she would have appreciated it.
Reply:What you said was perfectly comforting. My sister lost a baby at 2 months. I remember standing by the casket and she said to me, %26quot;Doesn%26#039;t he look handsome?%26quot; If you%26#039;re looking for a memorial . . .Something nice someone did for my sister was donate a children%26#039;s book to the local library. They put in memory of (his name) inside the cover. It was a thoughtful gesture.
Reply:She definitely knew what you meant. You were being kind, and she appreciated it. It is actually very relieving to hear that you did a good job for the deceased, that you %26quot;sent them out%26quot; in the perfect way.
Trust me, there are plenty of bad things to say at a funeral. We heard a ton of them at my father%26#039;s funeral (especially %26quot;It should have been me.%26quot;). You%26#039;re fine, don%26#039;t worry. Do offer your support though...making meals is especially appreciated. :-)
Reply:yep ask her though
super nanny
I went to the funeral today and hugged him and then hugged his wife and said, %26quot;I am so sorry.%26quot; She said %26quot;Thank you for coming, it means so much to us%26quot;
I smiled and said %26quot;I am glad I could be here for you.%26quot; Then I looked at all the flowers around us and the casket and said, %26quot;Everything looks so beautiful for him.%26quot;
Afterwards I was thinking maybe I shouldn%26#039;t have said that because its supposed to be a sad time, not a %26quot;beautiful%26quot; time. I meant that everything was beautiful for the baby and it showed how much he was loved.
What do you think? Do you think she knew what I meant?
I went to a funeral for a 18 day old baby, I am usure if what I said was nice?
You said exactly the right thing. They wanted everything to look beautiful for their precious baby and they wanted everyone to know how much they loved him. Your remarks were perfect.
Reply:I think what you said was very nice. She knew it was heartfelt, and really....is there anything perfect to say at a time like that ?
You did a great job, and you%26#039;re a very kind co-worker.
Reply:i am sure she knew what you ment!!! Dont worry about it! God, I know that must be so hard for her!!! i could not imagine loosing my lil man!!! :(
Reply:I think she would%26#039;ve understood quite well considering they would have given him a beautiful life if he was still alive! I%26#039;m sure they were there to pay respects, mourn and celebrate the short little life that he did indeed have! Like all parents they want the best for their children and will do anything and everything to keep them happy and satisfied and I bet while planning his funeral she though of him and what his little eyes could see. I am very sorry to hear about this loss, my condolences for the little angel. What you said wasn%26#039;t rude in any way..I am sure they appreciated you being there..God bless you!
Reply:Don%26#039;t worry,she knew what you meant.you are very polite?
Reply:It is a sad time for those of us who are on earth but if your a Christian like I am then it shouldn%26#039;t be a sad time. Trust me I know that sounds crazy, but the baby is with God now and will never hurt or see hurt. When a loved one goes to Heaven then it is a very beautiful time though it may not be to us on earth. I%26#039;m sure ur friend understood what you ment.
Reply:My baby died when he was 3 months old and people said some really stupid things. What you said doesn%26#039;t seem bad at all. It%26#039;s stressful going to a baby%26#039;s funeral even if it%26#039;s not your child. Don%26#039;t beat yourself up. It%26#039;s ok.
Reply:I%26#039;m sure she knew what you meant. She probably had in mind that sometimes people are uncomfortable at funerals, especially children%26#039;s funerals, and sometimes just don%26#039;t know what to say.
Reply:What you said sounds nice to me. I%26#039;m sure she understood.
Reply:I think those words were okay. I dont think she would think of that in the moment though.
Reply:You said the right thing! Nothing wrong with that.
Reply:yikes i hate those situations......i think you did well
Reply:I%26#039;m sure she knew what you meant. You did fine.
Reply:I feel you said something kind and caring. In all honesty, your co-worker probably didn%26#039;t even process what you said. If my baby had died I would be numb and barely functioning. What she will remember is that you attended the funeral and cared enough to come and support them at this difficult time.
It is always difficult to know what to say. No matter what you say, it is awkward and uncomfortable. You did just fine.
Reply:i%26#039;m sure she knew what you meant. i think its a good way to let her know that they have made the funeral a beautiful and warm place to remember their son. at least she can know that she has done a good thing for her son because of what you said.
Reply:Even if she didn%26#039;t, it%26#039;s already been said, you meant well, don%26#039;t worry.
Reply:i agree i would probably say the same thing i think she new what you ment i wouldnt worrie about it xx
Reply:yes, she deffinitely understood what you said, she couldn%26#039;t have thought anything else............u shouldn%26#039;t don%26#039;t feel bad
Reply:I think you did just fine...she knew what you meant. You handled the situation perfectly.
Reply:My brother just attended a funeral for a baby girl who was 1 week old. They placed her in a carrier instead of a casket and hung a mobile over her head and that is how they wanted their daughter to be remembered.
Reply:The funeral was for him..and it was meant to look beautiful for him. It was so his final days here...what you said was just fine. Yes..it is a very sad time...so hard to deal with..but if you believe like I do..that when we pass on..our souls are still here..the baby saw the beauty surrounding him..and it comforted him.
Reply:Yes, I%26#039;m sure you wouldn%26#039;t have upset them by saying that.
Reply:It was nice and I%26#039;m sure that she has much more on her mind than anything you said, afterall her life will never be same, and they both will need more support.
Reply:u did just fine hun
Reply:For sure she knew what you meant. What you said was really nice - at last, a beautiful funeral was the only thing that could have done to the baby. You shouldn%26#039;t worry about it.
Reply:She probably knew what you meant, even if she did find it insensitive at the time. After she heals a bit she%26#039;ll understand even more.
Reply:My mother said the same thing to very close friends of ours at a funeral yesterday morning. Believe me you did nothing wrong. I%26#039;m sure your words were very comforting.
Reply:Yes, she knew what you meant, and she would have appreciated it.
Reply:What you said was perfectly comforting. My sister lost a baby at 2 months. I remember standing by the casket and she said to me, %26quot;Doesn%26#039;t he look handsome?%26quot; If you%26#039;re looking for a memorial . . .Something nice someone did for my sister was donate a children%26#039;s book to the local library. They put in memory of (his name) inside the cover. It was a thoughtful gesture.
Reply:She definitely knew what you meant. You were being kind, and she appreciated it. It is actually very relieving to hear that you did a good job for the deceased, that you %26quot;sent them out%26quot; in the perfect way.
Trust me, there are plenty of bad things to say at a funeral. We heard a ton of them at my father%26#039;s funeral (especially %26quot;It should have been me.%26quot;). You%26#039;re fine, don%26#039;t worry. Do offer your support though...making meals is especially appreciated. :-)
Reply:yep ask her though
super nanny
Have you ever been to a strange funeral? Well I have.?
My cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a hugh mock up of a heart made up of flowers. And after everyone said our good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one the mourners burst out laughing. The guy standing next to him asked why are you laughing? I was thinking about my own funeral the man replied. What%26#039;s so funny about that? I%26#039;m a gynecologist.
Have you ever been to a strange funeral? Well I have.?
Cute, Imagine if he were a proctologist
Reply:what a way to go,,,:)
Reply:All right already, now you%26#039;re getting into the real guffaw stuff -- thanks
Reply:Good one!
Reply:RFLMAO that was the best yet. I keep saying that but they just keep getting better. I love this place.
Reply:that is so good.
when I do go, I want to do it with a smile on my face.
and a smile on all of my friends and families faces also.
Reply:OK, you got me! Very funny. Goldwing
Reply:I went to a funeral for a friend who was a comedian writer and a sometimes joke Elvis impersonator
as his casket was being wheeled out of the Church
someone yelled %26quot; the King has left the building%26quot;
everyone stood up and gave the dead guy a standing ovation
Reply:most excellent have a star
Reply:Thanx for the laugh
Reply:gotcha!!! good one. what about a proctologist. backside, think about it!!!
Reply:Definitely returning from whence we came.
Me. I`ve ordered a brass band to lead the cortege, playing rousing marches.
Reply:excellent ....................xxxx
Reply:lol You are on a roll today, sweetie. Thanks. They would have had to carry me out of there. I would still be laughing so hard I wouldn%26#039;t be able to stand.
Reply:There is no way that I can top this one. And, I applaud you as someone finally someone left Goldwing without nary a word. He is one I have seen who usually has a quick answer that is pretty funny too.
Eh, it may be the weather. These questions have been the best one today!!
Reply:Oh funnyee
Reply:That was THE best!
Reply:What a great joke. I wish I thought I%26#039;d remember it tomorrow.
Reply:Good one!! Had me going!
skin disease
Have you ever been to a strange funeral? Well I have.?
Cute, Imagine if he were a proctologist
Reply:what a way to go,,,:)
Reply:All right already, now you%26#039;re getting into the real guffaw stuff -- thanks
Reply:Good one!
Reply:RFLMAO that was the best yet. I keep saying that but they just keep getting better. I love this place.
Reply:that is so good.
when I do go, I want to do it with a smile on my face.
and a smile on all of my friends and families faces also.
Reply:OK, you got me! Very funny. Goldwing
Reply:I went to a funeral for a friend who was a comedian writer and a sometimes joke Elvis impersonator
as his casket was being wheeled out of the Church
someone yelled %26quot; the King has left the building%26quot;
everyone stood up and gave the dead guy a standing ovation
Reply:most excellent have a star
Reply:Thanx for the laugh
Reply:gotcha!!! good one. what about a proctologist. backside, think about it!!!
Reply:Definitely returning from whence we came.
Me. I`ve ordered a brass band to lead the cortege, playing rousing marches.
Reply:excellent ....................xxxx
Reply:lol You are on a roll today, sweetie. Thanks. They would have had to carry me out of there. I would still be laughing so hard I wouldn%26#039;t be able to stand.
Reply:There is no way that I can top this one. And, I applaud you as someone finally someone left Goldwing without nary a word. He is one I have seen who usually has a quick answer that is pretty funny too.
Eh, it may be the weather. These questions have been the best one today!!
Reply:Oh funnyee
Reply:That was THE best!
Reply:What a great joke. I wish I thought I%26#039;d remember it tomorrow.
Reply:Good one!! Had me going!
skin disease
Christian going to a Buddhist Funeral?
just wondering, for me, what i need to do at my bf%26#039;s dads %26#039;buddhist%26#039; funeral. i find it quite awkward from the %26quot;ringing of bells%26quot; and %26quot;bowing til ur head touches the floor%26quot;. i want to pay my respects but its quite awkward for me. do i jus stand aside while i watch everyone do this? be the odd one out?
what should i bring? flowers?
what should i wear or will they supply some clothings/shoes for me?
what else do they do at buddhist funerals?
i need as much detail as possible!
Thanks..
Christian going to a Buddhist Funeral?
i live in a mulit-religious country and i have to face this kinda situation every now and then as a christian.
as a christian, we should not bow to anything that is spiritual. in this particular sect of buddhism, they believe that they are bowing do the spirit of the deceased.
as a christian, you should refrain from doing the chanting, or joining them to bow or pray. you should just wear white or black, as a mourning sign, and tell the MONKS or priests there that you are a christian. they will understand, and they will inform the relatives that you cannot participate.
besides bowing and chanting, they also will walk around the coffin. this act, signifies the relatives walking the spirit of the deceased to hell. you should not participate too, as a child of God. you should explain to your boyfriend that you mourn with them, but that you cannot participate in the spiritual things of another religion.
thats all, trust me, you need to stick to your stand in terms of spiritual things.
do not say phrases like, %26quot;see you!%26quot; when leaving the funeral. chinese find it very rude that you are hoping to see them at another funeral again.
Reply:Be simple and do what everybody else does so as not to attract attention and be criticize. you loose nothing when you do so and be a better Christian by respecting other beliefs.
Reply:I would confer with the funeral director on this one. He probably knows more about Buddhist funerals than anyone.
Reply:i would stand on the back...
Reply:ask your boyfreinds advice. I see no harm in going to pay your respects but do not think as a christian you should be involved in bowing to the bodda or what ever.
Reply:I%26#039;m sure the family KNOWS you are not buddhist. But you are There to support their SON. You are there to support HIM, and say good bye to his father.
If you feel more comfortable on the sidelines, I don%26#039;t think they would mind it. I%26#039;ve been to a lot of different rites.
I%26#039;ve been to one buddhist funeral rite. I was allowed to just %26#039;be%26#039; and say good bye to my friend. After they were done, I was allowed to say my own good bye in my peoples way.
Things will be fine.
white is the color of DEATH. as all dead things turn white.
Reply:Most likely if you are not comfortable you should made known to your bf to let the family know. They wont force you. Basically you dont have to bring anything but please do not wear colourful stuff ,keep it black or white or grey and dress decently. If possible no make up or minimise your makeup.
If you are not officially one of the family member, you dont have to follow all the rites or recital, you can be just one of the friend that pay respect to the dead and be seated. So far, even my christian friends would light a joss stick or candle as a sign of respect and nothing to be ashmed or worried off.
Reply:I Come From P%26amp;S, Now Lets Get Down To Buisness,
1. God%26#039;s Fake
2. Get A Life Budists
3. Buddahs Fake
4. Turn This Dump Upside Down And Make It The Gay Rights Section!
Reply:You wear white to Buddhist funerals (or is that a vietnamese thing?). If you feel awkward, ask your bf! Even if you don%26#039;t participate in the praying or wear black, people will appreciate that you showed up. No one [no one decent, anyway] will gossip or criticize you, they%26#039;ll just realize you%26#039;re of a different religion and respect that.
You should really ask your boyfriend what he wants you to do. Generally they have a time where you can pay your respects. The actual funeral usually doesn%26#039;t involve the praying--thats a service beforehand. If you%26#039;re going to that service, you might want to sit it out if its against yoru religion. Its praying and reading and such.
Anyway. the funeral is a bit like a normal one, except when i went they cremated the body right afterward.
I%26#039;ve only been to one funeral, though. Sorry.
Reply:basically, you should dress modestly and in black (like at most funerals. You may not need to do any deep bowing (usually, the deceased%26#039;s direct family do that), but for respect you will have to take turns in walking up to the coffin/body and giving several small bows and placing incense in front of the coffin (usually in an urn of some sort).
There will usually also be actually Buddhist monks there, and they will chant mantras. So, i don%26#039;t think you will have to do too much. Mainly just stand around and let the monks do their work.
Reply:Just follow whatever they%26#039;re doing.it%26#039;s rude if you just stand aside and watch.i will advise you to bring flowers and wear clothes with dark colours.
Reply:Put it this way, when you bring a buddhist to your church, do you expect him not to do what you do?
Put yourself in the other shoes, pay a bit of respect to the dead.
Reply:Don%26#039;t do anything you don%26#039;t feel too. Go with your heart, that is all. That is all your bf%26#039;s father would want. Peace to you.
Reply:what kind of Buddhist??/ there are several. different schools of thought..just like there are many different kinds of christian beliefs....makes a big difference
In any case they are very understand, nonjudgmental people...what ever you wear of bring will be fine...they will understand.
Reply:You should be asking your boyfriend or maybe his mother about what is expected of you. Unless we knew them or or the man himself, how would any of us know what they will do.
The only rules I know are be polite and never show them the soles of your feet.
Reply:White is associated with death in the east as black is in the west. Whether either of these is intrinsically tied in to buddhism, I don%26#039;t rightly know.
Just make sure that what you wear is somewhere between white and black in any case.... and bring white flowers. That is the important part.
nanny
what should i bring? flowers?
what should i wear or will they supply some clothings/shoes for me?
what else do they do at buddhist funerals?
i need as much detail as possible!
Thanks..
Christian going to a Buddhist Funeral?
i live in a mulit-religious country and i have to face this kinda situation every now and then as a christian.
as a christian, we should not bow to anything that is spiritual. in this particular sect of buddhism, they believe that they are bowing do the spirit of the deceased.
as a christian, you should refrain from doing the chanting, or joining them to bow or pray. you should just wear white or black, as a mourning sign, and tell the MONKS or priests there that you are a christian. they will understand, and they will inform the relatives that you cannot participate.
besides bowing and chanting, they also will walk around the coffin. this act, signifies the relatives walking the spirit of the deceased to hell. you should not participate too, as a child of God. you should explain to your boyfriend that you mourn with them, but that you cannot participate in the spiritual things of another religion.
thats all, trust me, you need to stick to your stand in terms of spiritual things.
do not say phrases like, %26quot;see you!%26quot; when leaving the funeral. chinese find it very rude that you are hoping to see them at another funeral again.
Reply:Be simple and do what everybody else does so as not to attract attention and be criticize. you loose nothing when you do so and be a better Christian by respecting other beliefs.
Reply:I would confer with the funeral director on this one. He probably knows more about Buddhist funerals than anyone.
Reply:i would stand on the back...
Reply:ask your boyfreinds advice. I see no harm in going to pay your respects but do not think as a christian you should be involved in bowing to the bodda or what ever.
Reply:I%26#039;m sure the family KNOWS you are not buddhist. But you are There to support their SON. You are there to support HIM, and say good bye to his father.
If you feel more comfortable on the sidelines, I don%26#039;t think they would mind it. I%26#039;ve been to a lot of different rites.
I%26#039;ve been to one buddhist funeral rite. I was allowed to just %26#039;be%26#039; and say good bye to my friend. After they were done, I was allowed to say my own good bye in my peoples way.
Things will be fine.
white is the color of DEATH. as all dead things turn white.
Reply:Most likely if you are not comfortable you should made known to your bf to let the family know. They wont force you. Basically you dont have to bring anything but please do not wear colourful stuff ,keep it black or white or grey and dress decently. If possible no make up or minimise your makeup.
If you are not officially one of the family member, you dont have to follow all the rites or recital, you can be just one of the friend that pay respect to the dead and be seated. So far, even my christian friends would light a joss stick or candle as a sign of respect and nothing to be ashmed or worried off.
Reply:I Come From P%26amp;S, Now Lets Get Down To Buisness,
1. God%26#039;s Fake
2. Get A Life Budists
3. Buddahs Fake
4. Turn This Dump Upside Down And Make It The Gay Rights Section!
Reply:You wear white to Buddhist funerals (or is that a vietnamese thing?). If you feel awkward, ask your bf! Even if you don%26#039;t participate in the praying or wear black, people will appreciate that you showed up. No one [no one decent, anyway] will gossip or criticize you, they%26#039;ll just realize you%26#039;re of a different religion and respect that.
You should really ask your boyfriend what he wants you to do. Generally they have a time where you can pay your respects. The actual funeral usually doesn%26#039;t involve the praying--thats a service beforehand. If you%26#039;re going to that service, you might want to sit it out if its against yoru religion. Its praying and reading and such.
Anyway. the funeral is a bit like a normal one, except when i went they cremated the body right afterward.
I%26#039;ve only been to one funeral, though. Sorry.
Reply:basically, you should dress modestly and in black (like at most funerals. You may not need to do any deep bowing (usually, the deceased%26#039;s direct family do that), but for respect you will have to take turns in walking up to the coffin/body and giving several small bows and placing incense in front of the coffin (usually in an urn of some sort).
There will usually also be actually Buddhist monks there, and they will chant mantras. So, i don%26#039;t think you will have to do too much. Mainly just stand around and let the monks do their work.
Reply:Just follow whatever they%26#039;re doing.it%26#039;s rude if you just stand aside and watch.i will advise you to bring flowers and wear clothes with dark colours.
Reply:Put it this way, when you bring a buddhist to your church, do you expect him not to do what you do?
Put yourself in the other shoes, pay a bit of respect to the dead.
Reply:Don%26#039;t do anything you don%26#039;t feel too. Go with your heart, that is all. That is all your bf%26#039;s father would want. Peace to you.
Reply:what kind of Buddhist??/ there are several. different schools of thought..just like there are many different kinds of christian beliefs....makes a big difference
In any case they are very understand, nonjudgmental people...what ever you wear of bring will be fine...they will understand.
Reply:You should be asking your boyfriend or maybe his mother about what is expected of you. Unless we knew them or or the man himself, how would any of us know what they will do.
The only rules I know are be polite and never show them the soles of your feet.
Reply:White is associated with death in the east as black is in the west. Whether either of these is intrinsically tied in to buddhism, I don%26#039;t rightly know.
Just make sure that what you wear is somewhere between white and black in any case.... and bring white flowers. That is the important part.
nanny
Prom Flowers?
My prom is quickly approaching, and I have a red dress that is a little simple, but my jewellery is Amazing! so it all evens out. However flowers are a problem. I do NOT want a wrist corsage because their extremely annoying. So my mom suggested holding a single rose for pictures then just disgarding it after, but the problem is red would clash with my dress. My jewellery is black and silver so i was thinking a black rose but i dont want to look like im going to a funeral, my hair is very dark brown. Does anyone have any ideas!
Prom Flowers?
How about a white rose? Or white with red edges --oops no, that would fade into your dress. Pale pink? Cream?
Another question is why flowers at all? It%26#039;s a tradition, not a requirement.
Reply:I love fire and ice roses. The inside of the petals are red, the outside white. The white would break up the red I think.... There are SO many varieties out there, don%26#039;t do black.
Reply:u could put a flower in ur hair... btu relly u dont HAVE to have a flower
Shoes
Prom Flowers?
How about a white rose? Or white with red edges --oops no, that would fade into your dress. Pale pink? Cream?
Another question is why flowers at all? It%26#039;s a tradition, not a requirement.
Reply:I love fire and ice roses. The inside of the petals are red, the outside white. The white would break up the red I think.... There are SO many varieties out there, don%26#039;t do black.
Reply:u could put a flower in ur hair... btu relly u dont HAVE to have a flower
Shoes
Should I send flowers?
My oldest daughter%26#039;s biological father (she%26#039;s been adopted by my husband) has two other children by 2 other mothers: a boy, and a girl.
Well, had..
We are pretty close to the other girl and her mother- she and I didn%26#039;t used to get along, but we became friends later on for the sake of our daughters- we wanted them to have each other- even if their %26quot;daddy%26quot; wasn%26#039;t going to be a part of their lives. The little boy and his mother we never really knew- they live in another state- but we have both talked to her a couple times and there was no bad blood or anything.
Well, the little boy passed away- he was 6. Our daughters never met him- nor did we- and we haven%26#039;t really spoken to his mother in a long time. His funeral is on Thursday, and the other mother and I were talking today about sending flowers or a card with a donation in it. We know our ex won%26#039;t be there because he never cared about any of his kids, but we want to send it from our daughters- since he was their brother. Cont%26#039;d
Should I send flowers?
Well you can think of it this way. When people hear on the news that a child has died and that there is a charity that is collecting cards for the family, perfect strangers will write cards to the child%26#039;s parents.
I don%26#039;t think the mother would be offended in any way. But perhaps you should keep the card simple, just a %26quot;sorry for your loss,%26quot; or something like that, and of course, the little kids%26#039; signatures.
Reply:Call the funeral home and ask if there is any special plans for memorials such as donations to an organization or charity. If not, then send flowers to the home with his sisters names inside the card and the words, From you sisters, with their names.
Reply:Send flowers. It would be the right thing to do.
Reply:You and the other Mother might consider making a donation to an organization, the one most closely representing the reason the litle boy died. Make the donation in Honor of %26quot;name of the child%26quot; and have the card sent with the donation from you and your daughters and have the thank you card to be sent to the boys mother. The Mother should recieve a card then from the charitable organization telling her they have recieved a donation in honor of %26quot;her boys name%26quot; from %26quot;You and your daughters names%26quot;. This card would take a while to get to her giving her time to have started her grieving and when she is not so overwhelmed with the immediate rush of people who will be with her and supportive of her but will dwindle with time.
What ever you decide I don%26#039;t think you can err on the side of remembering and letting some one know you know they are in pain and you care.....
I just read your last addendum, by all means it is ok to leave out the word sisters, she will know and not anyone else needs to.
Reply:I would send flowers, it will let them know you%26#039;ve been thinking about them,
Reply:I think you should definitely send flowers... any thoughts are appreciated in tough times.
loan
Well, had..
We are pretty close to the other girl and her mother- she and I didn%26#039;t used to get along, but we became friends later on for the sake of our daughters- we wanted them to have each other- even if their %26quot;daddy%26quot; wasn%26#039;t going to be a part of their lives. The little boy and his mother we never really knew- they live in another state- but we have both talked to her a couple times and there was no bad blood or anything.
Well, the little boy passed away- he was 6. Our daughters never met him- nor did we- and we haven%26#039;t really spoken to his mother in a long time. His funeral is on Thursday, and the other mother and I were talking today about sending flowers or a card with a donation in it. We know our ex won%26#039;t be there because he never cared about any of his kids, but we want to send it from our daughters- since he was their brother. Cont%26#039;d
Should I send flowers?
Well you can think of it this way. When people hear on the news that a child has died and that there is a charity that is collecting cards for the family, perfect strangers will write cards to the child%26#039;s parents.
I don%26#039;t think the mother would be offended in any way. But perhaps you should keep the card simple, just a %26quot;sorry for your loss,%26quot; or something like that, and of course, the little kids%26#039; signatures.
Reply:Call the funeral home and ask if there is any special plans for memorials such as donations to an organization or charity. If not, then send flowers to the home with his sisters names inside the card and the words, From you sisters, with their names.
Reply:Send flowers. It would be the right thing to do.
Reply:You and the other Mother might consider making a donation to an organization, the one most closely representing the reason the litle boy died. Make the donation in Honor of %26quot;name of the child%26quot; and have the card sent with the donation from you and your daughters and have the thank you card to be sent to the boys mother. The Mother should recieve a card then from the charitable organization telling her they have recieved a donation in honor of %26quot;her boys name%26quot; from %26quot;You and your daughters names%26quot;. This card would take a while to get to her giving her time to have started her grieving and when she is not so overwhelmed with the immediate rush of people who will be with her and supportive of her but will dwindle with time.
What ever you decide I don%26#039;t think you can err on the side of remembering and letting some one know you know they are in pain and you care.....
I just read your last addendum, by all means it is ok to leave out the word sisters, she will know and not anyone else needs to.
Reply:I would send flowers, it will let them know you%26#039;ve been thinking about them,
Reply:I think you should definitely send flowers... any thoughts are appreciated in tough times.
loan
Ex husband funeral?
Is it necessary to attend the funeral of my ex husband, my children live in the same province as him which is 1500 miles away, I do not want to offend my children by not attending but it is after all a long distance. I have remarried and was wondering if I sent flowers and how the card should read I have a very good relationship with my children they are adults now. I was wondering if anyone else has encounted this problem.
Ex husband funeral?
I would go for the children%26#039;s sake to pay your respects if you can afford the trip and get off work.The right thing is always appropriate. If you send flowers and a card, just get a sympathy card and sign it with your new married name. A letter is not necessary or expected.
Reply:I would not think it necessary...either way your ex-husband won%26#039;t care. It%26#039;s your children who might care ...so ...ask their opinion. Do whatever you need to do to support your children emotionally.
Reply:I don%26#039;t think attending the funeral would hurt your present relationship. The way I see it, funeral is a time where you show your moral support to the grieving family of your ex-husband. it is one way of showing that you care for them and comfort them in moments of grief most specially if you still had children with your ex-husband.
Reply:I think you should be there for your children and help them deal with the grief of losing their father...
Reply:I think you should consider going, after all, this is the father of your children and no matter how old they are, it is still devastating to lose your parent. But also, you may regret it down the road for your own sake. After all, he helped you give life to, from what you%26#039;ve written, the most special people in your life. You loved him at some point in life, I have always been a firm believer that even if you break up with someone and go your different ways, if you loved them, truly loved them then that love never dies. It may change from a romantic love to just an overall caring love but nonetheless it is still love.
I just encourage you to think about it, good, your kids I%26#039;m sure would love to have their Mom%26#039;s shoulder during their time of need. Good luck and God bless!
Reply:well your children are adults and its a great distance so i would think it would be appropriate to send flowers and a card, if he has remarried to his widow if not to your children.after all you were married.where i come from in our family it is common for ex wives or husbands to attend their exes families funerals and to visit their ex inlaws when they are in a hospital and nursing home.it is just considered the proper thing to do.my oldest brothers ex motherinlaw and fatherinlaw visited my parents and attended their funerals.it was a lovely gesture.i am sorry for your loss and your childrens loss.good luck.
Reply:No its not necessary to attend but he is the man that gave you your kids go show respect for that distance does not matter when children are in the middle not even adult children. Take flowers the card could say will never forget you . GO SUPPORT your kids
Reply:dont go. especially if he was remarried, your prescence will be awkward to everyone there. i hope that your children will understand this and if they really want you there, then they can pay for your airfare. sending flowers to them is a really nice gesture. go visit your kids later, right now they have everyone else to support them.
Reply:go to the funeral. even though hes your ex, you loved him and hes still important. just go. and yea, bring flowers, cards, the whole thing. ttyl.
Reply:Well, when my father passed my mother attended his funeral and she also remarried. She stated that she attended because she did use to be married to him and because he was the father of her children. So, no... it is not necessary but maybe at least just out of respect for your children you could attend and maybe also because you were married to him at one point in your life... the decision is really up to you and it just depends on how you feel about the situation. Whatever you decide, I am sure that it will the best decision for you.
Reply:Well if I was in your shoes I would express my concerns to my children, ask them if they really needed you there, that you would go to be moral support for them but if they could do this without you that you would rather send flowers and condolenceses to the familie, but that the trip is alot for you to handle. But if they need you then go
Reply:That is a chapter of your life that is closed. To honor your children%26#039;s feelings you can call the family and send flowers or a basket. The card should only express your condolences for their loss.
Reply:When my brother-in-law died, his first 2 ex-wives showed up along with his current fiance. He won%26#039;t know if you go or not, but your children will. If you go, you never will have the regret of not saying your last good-bye.
Reply:Yes! Go!
Reply:i think you should be there for your children, unless they are married and have spouses to support them during this time
puppy teeth
Ex husband funeral?
I would go for the children%26#039;s sake to pay your respects if you can afford the trip and get off work.The right thing is always appropriate. If you send flowers and a card, just get a sympathy card and sign it with your new married name. A letter is not necessary or expected.
Reply:I would not think it necessary...either way your ex-husband won%26#039;t care. It%26#039;s your children who might care ...so ...ask their opinion. Do whatever you need to do to support your children emotionally.
Reply:I don%26#039;t think attending the funeral would hurt your present relationship. The way I see it, funeral is a time where you show your moral support to the grieving family of your ex-husband. it is one way of showing that you care for them and comfort them in moments of grief most specially if you still had children with your ex-husband.
Reply:I think you should be there for your children and help them deal with the grief of losing their father...
Reply:I think you should consider going, after all, this is the father of your children and no matter how old they are, it is still devastating to lose your parent. But also, you may regret it down the road for your own sake. After all, he helped you give life to, from what you%26#039;ve written, the most special people in your life. You loved him at some point in life, I have always been a firm believer that even if you break up with someone and go your different ways, if you loved them, truly loved them then that love never dies. It may change from a romantic love to just an overall caring love but nonetheless it is still love.
I just encourage you to think about it, good, your kids I%26#039;m sure would love to have their Mom%26#039;s shoulder during their time of need. Good luck and God bless!
Reply:well your children are adults and its a great distance so i would think it would be appropriate to send flowers and a card, if he has remarried to his widow if not to your children.after all you were married.where i come from in our family it is common for ex wives or husbands to attend their exes families funerals and to visit their ex inlaws when they are in a hospital and nursing home.it is just considered the proper thing to do.my oldest brothers ex motherinlaw and fatherinlaw visited my parents and attended their funerals.it was a lovely gesture.i am sorry for your loss and your childrens loss.good luck.
Reply:No its not necessary to attend but he is the man that gave you your kids go show respect for that distance does not matter when children are in the middle not even adult children. Take flowers the card could say will never forget you . GO SUPPORT your kids
Reply:dont go. especially if he was remarried, your prescence will be awkward to everyone there. i hope that your children will understand this and if they really want you there, then they can pay for your airfare. sending flowers to them is a really nice gesture. go visit your kids later, right now they have everyone else to support them.
Reply:go to the funeral. even though hes your ex, you loved him and hes still important. just go. and yea, bring flowers, cards, the whole thing. ttyl.
Reply:Well, when my father passed my mother attended his funeral and she also remarried. She stated that she attended because she did use to be married to him and because he was the father of her children. So, no... it is not necessary but maybe at least just out of respect for your children you could attend and maybe also because you were married to him at one point in your life... the decision is really up to you and it just depends on how you feel about the situation. Whatever you decide, I am sure that it will the best decision for you.
Reply:Well if I was in your shoes I would express my concerns to my children, ask them if they really needed you there, that you would go to be moral support for them but if they could do this without you that you would rather send flowers and condolenceses to the familie, but that the trip is alot for you to handle. But if they need you then go
Reply:That is a chapter of your life that is closed. To honor your children%26#039;s feelings you can call the family and send flowers or a basket. The card should only express your condolences for their loss.
Reply:When my brother-in-law died, his first 2 ex-wives showed up along with his current fiance. He won%26#039;t know if you go or not, but your children will. If you go, you never will have the regret of not saying your last good-bye.
Reply:Yes! Go!
Reply:i think you should be there for your children, unless they are married and have spouses to support them during this time
puppy teeth
Why kind of flowers should I give to a friend who's parent passed away?
One of my friend%26#039;s is having a funeral this weekend for her dad. My husband thinks we should get her and her family some flowers. She is Christian; what kind of flowers are appropriate? Is there a certain colour I should NOT give?
Thanx.
Why kind of flowers should I give to a friend who%26#039;s parent passed away?
It doesn%26#039;t really matter. It%26#039;s your thoughtfulness that counts, so a mix of flowers, in different colours, would be fine. I%26#039;ve seen lots of funeral arrangements, in all types of colours -- some mixed, some are just red %26amp; white, and some with only one type of flower (carnations or roses, for example), while others have a mix. The main point is that you%26#039;re showing your concern and sympathy, and whatever you choose will be greatly appreciated. I%26#039;m attaching a link that show a variety of colours and flower types, in case you need some ideas (click on the photos to enlarge them.) Also, flowers do not need to be given as an %26quot;arrangement%26quot; (set in the foamy oasis, in a basket). It is perfectly OK to give flowers in a vase.
Reply:What is the appropriate flower arrangement for a funeral?
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Reply:Just go to a florist. They know what is appropriate. Most people select white flowers of some kind. However, any arrangement will give the family some comfort that you thought of them.
Reply:No, any kind of flowers would be lovely, there%26#039;s no prohibition as to what color. Check with the florist, give them a price range, and see what they can put together for the amount of money you want to spend. Other people prefer to give a nice plant instead of cut flowers, because the plant will probably last longer.
But you might want to check with the funeral home to see if the family even wants flowers. Some families think that paying for flowers that just die in a day or so is a waste of money, and would rather see the money donated in the deceased%26#039;s name to an organization that the deceased was active in or that helped them.
Either way, it%26#039;s very thoughtful of you.
Reply:white chrysanthemum could be a good choice.
Reply:Is she a close friend? Lillies are always pretty (however--EVERYONE send peace lillies, so maybe a different, prettier kind). also, when my dad passed away--a good friend sent an apple tree that we were able to plant in the yard--kind of testament to Dad and everytime i see it-it makes me smile and think of my Dad and the friends that sent it.
Reply:Not in the US, at least. I guess you%26#039;re not from the US, though -- but I%26#039;ve never heard of any of the Anglo countries having problems with certain colors of flowers. Certainly not because the people are Christian!
You call the florist and tell them what you want them for. If you try to order something entirely inappropriate, they%26#039;ll tell you.
I used to think flowers at funerals were silly, but they aren%26#039;t. They%26#039;re so beautiful, and give pleasure to so many, and a tiny bit of heart%26#039;s-ease to the bereaved.
Reply:Any flowers would be appreciated. You may want to avoid flowers that are known for causing allergies in alot of people. The gesture, whatever kind, I%26#039;m sure will be most appreciated. If you can%26#039;t afford a grand bouquet, get something simple and add a thoughtful card with it.
Reply:Star gazing Lillie%26#039;s are very beautiful.
Reply:silly rabbit. I always prefer giving donations to charity.
What did this person die from? Heart disease? Then donation to heart foundation would be nice.
Cancer, then donation to cancer research would be nice. Etc.
Reply:white flower and lilies are the best choice
Reply:A plant may be a nice choice. They last longer then flowers.
Reebok
Thanx.
Why kind of flowers should I give to a friend who%26#039;s parent passed away?
It doesn%26#039;t really matter. It%26#039;s your thoughtfulness that counts, so a mix of flowers, in different colours, would be fine. I%26#039;ve seen lots of funeral arrangements, in all types of colours -- some mixed, some are just red %26amp; white, and some with only one type of flower (carnations or roses, for example), while others have a mix. The main point is that you%26#039;re showing your concern and sympathy, and whatever you choose will be greatly appreciated. I%26#039;m attaching a link that show a variety of colours and flower types, in case you need some ideas (click on the photos to enlarge them.) Also, flowers do not need to be given as an %26quot;arrangement%26quot; (set in the foamy oasis, in a basket). It is perfectly OK to give flowers in a vase.
Reply:What is the appropriate flower arrangement for a funeral?
http://homegarden.expertvillag... Report It
Reply:Just go to a florist. They know what is appropriate. Most people select white flowers of some kind. However, any arrangement will give the family some comfort that you thought of them.
Reply:No, any kind of flowers would be lovely, there%26#039;s no prohibition as to what color. Check with the florist, give them a price range, and see what they can put together for the amount of money you want to spend. Other people prefer to give a nice plant instead of cut flowers, because the plant will probably last longer.
But you might want to check with the funeral home to see if the family even wants flowers. Some families think that paying for flowers that just die in a day or so is a waste of money, and would rather see the money donated in the deceased%26#039;s name to an organization that the deceased was active in or that helped them.
Either way, it%26#039;s very thoughtful of you.
Reply:white chrysanthemum could be a good choice.
Reply:Is she a close friend? Lillies are always pretty (however--EVERYONE send peace lillies, so maybe a different, prettier kind). also, when my dad passed away--a good friend sent an apple tree that we were able to plant in the yard--kind of testament to Dad and everytime i see it-it makes me smile and think of my Dad and the friends that sent it.
Reply:Not in the US, at least. I guess you%26#039;re not from the US, though -- but I%26#039;ve never heard of any of the Anglo countries having problems with certain colors of flowers. Certainly not because the people are Christian!
You call the florist and tell them what you want them for. If you try to order something entirely inappropriate, they%26#039;ll tell you.
I used to think flowers at funerals were silly, but they aren%26#039;t. They%26#039;re so beautiful, and give pleasure to so many, and a tiny bit of heart%26#039;s-ease to the bereaved.
Reply:Any flowers would be appreciated. You may want to avoid flowers that are known for causing allergies in alot of people. The gesture, whatever kind, I%26#039;m sure will be most appreciated. If you can%26#039;t afford a grand bouquet, get something simple and add a thoughtful card with it.
Reply:Star gazing Lillie%26#039;s are very beautiful.
Reply:silly rabbit. I always prefer giving donations to charity.
What did this person die from? Heart disease? Then donation to heart foundation would be nice.
Cancer, then donation to cancer research would be nice. Etc.
Reply:white flower and lilies are the best choice
Reply:A plant may be a nice choice. They last longer then flowers.
Reebok
A dream about a super modern funeral home?
I am in a beautiful funeral home .;its huge the size maybe 5000 square feet ; there some dead people in their casket and a beautiful setting of flowers around them ; other space are empty ; so I ask the owner ;; are they quiete ; [refering to the dead ] and he said ; yes ; I was asking this question ; because I always believe that the spirit of the dead are aound us ; So what does it mean Thanks
A dream about a super modern funeral home?
Maybe you are very connected to the spirit world. Do you see ghost? Maybe some spirit is contacting you, the empty caskets could represent people that are about to pass away, they are probably related to whoever was in the other caskets.
Try and remember what these dead people looked like.
Reply:i think u have a very soft corner towards dead bodies.
Reply:it sound like u r depressed
Reply:Just a dream. I have had many dreams about funeral homes because I have been to a lot of funeral in the last few years.
loan
A dream about a super modern funeral home?
Maybe you are very connected to the spirit world. Do you see ghost? Maybe some spirit is contacting you, the empty caskets could represent people that are about to pass away, they are probably related to whoever was in the other caskets.
Try and remember what these dead people looked like.
Reply:i think u have a very soft corner towards dead bodies.
Reply:it sound like u r depressed
Reply:Just a dream. I have had many dreams about funeral homes because I have been to a lot of funeral in the last few years.
loan
I dont think i can go to the funeral...?
my husbands cousin had a son 7 days before we had our daughter. he was born on jan 7...he was born with a hole in his heart...and had to have surgery...yesterday for an unknown reason...he went into cardiac arrest and died a few hours later at the hospital....my mother in law called today to see if we were going to the funeral...but i honestly dont think i can handle it...our children were only a week apart and i just dont think i can handle seeing that little baby in that casket and then coming home and being able to play with mine...and thinking about what if something happened to her like that...i would be a WRECK at the funeral and for hours afterwards im sure...i just love babies too much and it hurts my hurt to see them die or get hurt...and as selfish as this may sound...i just dont think i can handle it...i am going to send flowers tho...am i a horrible person for not going? or would anyone else feel the same way i do?
I dont think i can go to the funeral...?
Death is very difficult to deal with for different people in many different ways. there is nothing odd about the way you are feeling. In the best interest of the family, you may want to call and explain that you would like to be there, but --------------------- just tell them how you feel. Although they may be sad, they should understand that you are human and have justified emotions about this situation.
No parent wants to bury their child(ren). It is the most painful experience. You are not being selfish. Do think about being there for them when the funeral is over though.
Reply:i hate to say this but i would do the same thing even though it would be nice for you to be there and show them that you are there for their time of need.
but i do understand the position that you are in. maybe you could go and pay your condolences another day and drop the flowers yourself. that is always a good thing ot do. good luck to you!! im sorry for this.
Reply:I don%26#039;t think you are a horrible person for not going..Sending flowers is a good idea and maybe send her a card or talk to her and let her know why you were unable to go..I%26#039;m sure she will understand..If you do decide to go do not take your baby because seeing your happy healthy baby will just make her sadder knowing her baby is lyin in a casket
Reply:Everyone has their own way of handling grief. If you honestly feel you cannot handle it, then you shouldn%26#039;t go unless you husband is asking for your support. I can understand where you are coming from. I have been to quite a few funerals for adults, and I can barely handle that. I cannot imagine seeing a child either. They shouldn%26#039;t show him like that. Don%26#039;t feel bad. Bless you and the family. :(
Reply:i would be the same way. you aren%26#039;t heartless for not going. it%26#039;s hard when anybody dies, especially a little baby, and ESPECIALLY when you have your own little baby. sending the family your condolences and offering support is probably a good idea.
Reply:They wouldnt really mind you missing out on that funeral. You should just tell them why and they would understand in an instant. I suggest like what you said in sending flowers and maybe even a card.
Dont worry your not a horrible person. If i were you i would feel the same way
Reply:I don%26#039;t blame you at all for feeling that way. I would probably do the exact same thing in your position. Write them a nice card, and send flowers.
Reply:I would call and let the family know why you%26#039;re not going to be there at the funeral. I think they will definitely understand. Let them know you%26#039;ll always be there for them if they need you though. Good Luck!!!
c++
I dont think i can go to the funeral...?
Death is very difficult to deal with for different people in many different ways. there is nothing odd about the way you are feeling. In the best interest of the family, you may want to call and explain that you would like to be there, but --------------------- just tell them how you feel. Although they may be sad, they should understand that you are human and have justified emotions about this situation.
No parent wants to bury their child(ren). It is the most painful experience. You are not being selfish. Do think about being there for them when the funeral is over though.
Reply:i hate to say this but i would do the same thing even though it would be nice for you to be there and show them that you are there for their time of need.
but i do understand the position that you are in. maybe you could go and pay your condolences another day and drop the flowers yourself. that is always a good thing ot do. good luck to you!! im sorry for this.
Reply:I don%26#039;t think you are a horrible person for not going..Sending flowers is a good idea and maybe send her a card or talk to her and let her know why you were unable to go..I%26#039;m sure she will understand..If you do decide to go do not take your baby because seeing your happy healthy baby will just make her sadder knowing her baby is lyin in a casket
Reply:Everyone has their own way of handling grief. If you honestly feel you cannot handle it, then you shouldn%26#039;t go unless you husband is asking for your support. I can understand where you are coming from. I have been to quite a few funerals for adults, and I can barely handle that. I cannot imagine seeing a child either. They shouldn%26#039;t show him like that. Don%26#039;t feel bad. Bless you and the family. :(
Reply:i would be the same way. you aren%26#039;t heartless for not going. it%26#039;s hard when anybody dies, especially a little baby, and ESPECIALLY when you have your own little baby. sending the family your condolences and offering support is probably a good idea.
Reply:They wouldnt really mind you missing out on that funeral. You should just tell them why and they would understand in an instant. I suggest like what you said in sending flowers and maybe even a card.
Dont worry your not a horrible person. If i were you i would feel the same way
Reply:I don%26#039;t blame you at all for feeling that way. I would probably do the exact same thing in your position. Write them a nice card, and send flowers.
Reply:I would call and let the family know why you%26#039;re not going to be there at the funeral. I think they will definitely understand. Let them know you%26#039;ll always be there for them if they need you though. Good Luck!!!
c++
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