I dont think i can go to the funeral...?

my husbands cousin had a son 7 days before we had our daughter. he was born on jan 7...he was born with a hole in his heart...and had to have surgery...yesterday for an unknown reason...he went into cardiac arrest and died a few hours later at the hospital....my mother in law called today to see if we were going to the funeral...but i honestly dont think i can handle it...our children were only a week apart and i just dont think i can handle seeing that little baby in that casket and then coming home and being able to play with mine...and thinking about what if something happened to her like that...i would be a WRECK at the funeral and for hours afterwards im sure...i just love babies too much and it hurts my hurt to see them die or get hurt...and as selfish as this may sound...i just dont think i can handle it...i am going to send flowers tho...am i a horrible person for not going? or would anyone else feel the same way i do?

I dont think i can go to the funeral...?
Death is very difficult to deal with for different people in many different ways. there is nothing odd about the way you are feeling. In the best interest of the family, you may want to call and explain that you would like to be there, but --------------------- just tell them how you feel. Although they may be sad, they should understand that you are human and have justified emotions about this situation.





No parent wants to bury their child(ren). It is the most painful experience. You are not being selfish. Do think about being there for them when the funeral is over though.
Reply:i hate to say this but i would do the same thing even though it would be nice for you to be there and show them that you are there for their time of need.





but i do understand the position that you are in. maybe you could go and pay your condolences another day and drop the flowers yourself. that is always a good thing ot do. good luck to you!! im sorry for this.
Reply:I don%26#039;t think you are a horrible person for not going..Sending flowers is a good idea and maybe send her a card or talk to her and let her know why you were unable to go..I%26#039;m sure she will understand..If you do decide to go do not take your baby because seeing your happy healthy baby will just make her sadder knowing her baby is lyin in a casket
Reply:Everyone has their own way of handling grief. If you honestly feel you cannot handle it, then you shouldn%26#039;t go unless you husband is asking for your support. I can understand where you are coming from. I have been to quite a few funerals for adults, and I can barely handle that. I cannot imagine seeing a child either. They shouldn%26#039;t show him like that. Don%26#039;t feel bad. Bless you and the family. :(
Reply:i would be the same way. you aren%26#039;t heartless for not going. it%26#039;s hard when anybody dies, especially a little baby, and ESPECIALLY when you have your own little baby. sending the family your condolences and offering support is probably a good idea.
Reply:They wouldnt really mind you missing out on that funeral. You should just tell them why and they would understand in an instant. I suggest like what you said in sending flowers and maybe even a card.





Dont worry your not a horrible person. If i were you i would feel the same way
Reply:I don%26#039;t blame you at all for feeling that way. I would probably do the exact same thing in your position. Write them a nice card, and send flowers.
Reply:I would call and let the family know why you%26#039;re not going to be there at the funeral. I think they will definitely understand. Let them know you%26#039;ll always be there for them if they need you though. Good Luck!!!



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