Christian going to a Buddhist Funeral?

just wondering, for me, what i need to do at my bf%26#039;s dads %26#039;buddhist%26#039; funeral. i find it quite awkward from the %26quot;ringing of bells%26quot; and %26quot;bowing til ur head touches the floor%26quot;. i want to pay my respects but its quite awkward for me. do i jus stand aside while i watch everyone do this? be the odd one out?





what should i bring? flowers?


what should i wear or will they supply some clothings/shoes for me?


what else do they do at buddhist funerals?





i need as much detail as possible!


Thanks..

Christian going to a Buddhist Funeral?
i live in a mulit-religious country and i have to face this kinda situation every now and then as a christian.





as a christian, we should not bow to anything that is spiritual. in this particular sect of buddhism, they believe that they are bowing do the spirit of the deceased.





as a christian, you should refrain from doing the chanting, or joining them to bow or pray. you should just wear white or black, as a mourning sign, and tell the MONKS or priests there that you are a christian. they will understand, and they will inform the relatives that you cannot participate.





besides bowing and chanting, they also will walk around the coffin. this act, signifies the relatives walking the spirit of the deceased to hell. you should not participate too, as a child of God. you should explain to your boyfriend that you mourn with them, but that you cannot participate in the spiritual things of another religion.





thats all, trust me, you need to stick to your stand in terms of spiritual things.





do not say phrases like, %26quot;see you!%26quot; when leaving the funeral. chinese find it very rude that you are hoping to see them at another funeral again.
Reply:Be simple and do what everybody else does so as not to attract attention and be criticize. you loose nothing when you do so and be a better Christian by respecting other beliefs.
Reply:I would confer with the funeral director on this one. He probably knows more about Buddhist funerals than anyone.
Reply:i would stand on the back...
Reply:ask your boyfreinds advice. I see no harm in going to pay your respects but do not think as a christian you should be involved in bowing to the bodda or what ever.
Reply:I%26#039;m sure the family KNOWS you are not buddhist. But you are There to support their SON. You are there to support HIM, and say good bye to his father.





If you feel more comfortable on the sidelines, I don%26#039;t think they would mind it. I%26#039;ve been to a lot of different rites.





I%26#039;ve been to one buddhist funeral rite. I was allowed to just %26#039;be%26#039; and say good bye to my friend. After they were done, I was allowed to say my own good bye in my peoples way.


Things will be fine.





white is the color of DEATH. as all dead things turn white.
Reply:Most likely if you are not comfortable you should made known to your bf to let the family know. They wont force you. Basically you dont have to bring anything but please do not wear colourful stuff ,keep it black or white or grey and dress decently. If possible no make up or minimise your makeup.





If you are not officially one of the family member, you dont have to follow all the rites or recital, you can be just one of the friend that pay respect to the dead and be seated. So far, even my christian friends would light a joss stick or candle as a sign of respect and nothing to be ashmed or worried off.
Reply:I Come From P%26amp;S, Now Lets Get Down To Buisness,





1. God%26#039;s Fake


2. Get A Life Budists


3. Buddahs Fake


4. Turn This Dump Upside Down And Make It The Gay Rights Section!
Reply:You wear white to Buddhist funerals (or is that a vietnamese thing?). If you feel awkward, ask your bf! Even if you don%26#039;t participate in the praying or wear black, people will appreciate that you showed up. No one [no one decent, anyway] will gossip or criticize you, they%26#039;ll just realize you%26#039;re of a different religion and respect that.





You should really ask your boyfriend what he wants you to do. Generally they have a time where you can pay your respects. The actual funeral usually doesn%26#039;t involve the praying--thats a service beforehand. If you%26#039;re going to that service, you might want to sit it out if its against yoru religion. Its praying and reading and such.





Anyway. the funeral is a bit like a normal one, except when i went they cremated the body right afterward.





I%26#039;ve only been to one funeral, though. Sorry.
Reply:basically, you should dress modestly and in black (like at most funerals. You may not need to do any deep bowing (usually, the deceased%26#039;s direct family do that), but for respect you will have to take turns in walking up to the coffin/body and giving several small bows and placing incense in front of the coffin (usually in an urn of some sort).





There will usually also be actually Buddhist monks there, and they will chant mantras. So, i don%26#039;t think you will have to do too much. Mainly just stand around and let the monks do their work.
Reply:Just follow whatever they%26#039;re doing.it%26#039;s rude if you just stand aside and watch.i will advise you to bring flowers and wear clothes with dark colours.
Reply:Put it this way, when you bring a buddhist to your church, do you expect him not to do what you do?





Put yourself in the other shoes, pay a bit of respect to the dead.
Reply:Don%26#039;t do anything you don%26#039;t feel too. Go with your heart, that is all. That is all your bf%26#039;s father would want. Peace to you.
Reply:what kind of Buddhist??/ there are several. different schools of thought..just like there are many different kinds of christian beliefs....makes a big difference





In any case they are very understand, nonjudgmental people...what ever you wear of bring will be fine...they will understand.
Reply:You should be asking your boyfriend or maybe his mother about what is expected of you. Unless we knew them or or the man himself, how would any of us know what they will do.





The only rules I know are be polite and never show them the soles of your feet.
Reply:White is associated with death in the east as black is in the west. Whether either of these is intrinsically tied in to buddhism, I don%26#039;t rightly know.





Just make sure that what you wear is somewhere between white and black in any case.... and bring white flowers. That is the important part.



nanny